And as thing go from bad to worse...

So last night was a rough one.

Really rough.

I got blamed for a lot of things during that night, few of which I feel I am wholly to blame for...some of which I feel I am not at all to blame for. The one thing I know I'm not to blame for but which hurt me the most I was informed was of the "so what?" category (as in "I did this thing that really hurt you...so what?" even if that wasn't the exact wording that was truly the message sent to me).

And now I find myself asking again...do I want to be here?

Well, no...that's part of having a crappy time of it - you obviously don't want to be where you are. But beyond that I am now asking how do I not want to be here? What of the things in my life I currently have here do I want to take with me to whatever presumably less sucky place I'm trying to head for? Which people, objects, places, lessons learned, and so on do I want to be what I have to show for these recent times of sour milk and rancid honey when I look back on it?

It's a tough question. Made tougher still by being made a target of someone else's negativity and being labeled the cause of someone else's problems. Not that such a thing happened to me yesterday or anything...just that it would really stink if it did.