Its Been the Worst Day Since Last Wednesday.
Some people reading this may know that my wife is in the hospital with some problems. And quite honestly its been taking a real toll on me as well.
Today I was told by my wife she didn't want to see me anymore because I wouldn't "help" her. I realize she almost certainly didn't mean it but the end result was still difficult, jarring, and overall crappy.
I'm not going into any other details but let me just say I firmly believe that the "help" she wanted was totally counteractive to her getting better. Totally. Hey, maybe I'm wrong about that but it's what I believe.
She just called to inform me that since I won't "help" her she's going to get her parents to do it and to once again accuse me of not helping her. Hopefully they will make sound judgment on the matter and not just believe what she says. I guess I should count myself lucky she didn't go so far as to say I don't care about her or anything, but it still has me feeling pretty low.
In any event I feel crappy. Horrible, hurt (mentally mostly, though punching the fireplace in frustration stung a bit), and all manner of other problems. More than any of that, I don't feel like I have any control of what is going on. And it sucks.
So why am I writing this? Well, because I need to tell someone currently nobody else is around. Also, maybe, just maybe if someone is reading this and has ever had to make a decision like that I wanted to let folks know...hey, it happens to more than just you.
Now if you excuse me, I think I'm going to go lie down for awhile. Or maybe find a quiet corner and just reflect.
Today I was told by my wife she didn't want to see me anymore because I wouldn't "help" her. I realize she almost certainly didn't mean it but the end result was still difficult, jarring, and overall crappy.
I'm not going into any other details but let me just say I firmly believe that the "help" she wanted was totally counteractive to her getting better. Totally. Hey, maybe I'm wrong about that but it's what I believe.
She just called to inform me that since I won't "help" her she's going to get her parents to do it and to once again accuse me of not helping her. Hopefully they will make sound judgment on the matter and not just believe what she says. I guess I should count myself lucky she didn't go so far as to say I don't care about her or anything, but it still has me feeling pretty low.
In any event I feel crappy. Horrible, hurt (mentally mostly, though punching the fireplace in frustration stung a bit), and all manner of other problems. More than any of that, I don't feel like I have any control of what is going on. And it sucks.
So why am I writing this? Well, because I need to tell someone currently nobody else is around. Also, maybe, just maybe if someone is reading this and has ever had to make a decision like that I wanted to let folks know...hey, it happens to more than just you.
Now if you excuse me, I think I'm going to go lie down for awhile. Or maybe find a quiet corner and just reflect.
posted by Jack at 1:21 PM
2 Comments:
Crap! I had no idea about the health issues.
I just peeked my head back into rpg.net tonight for the first time in ages, saw a post of yours on the Fabrica de Herois thread, and clicked the link to your blog to catch up.
I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you two are experiencing. You're in my thoughts.
Oh, this is Jack Kessler, btw. I realized my account simply says Jack AFTER I posted. :-)
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