I've had it with these motherfuckin' fans on this motherfuckin' net
So I saw Snakes on a Plane. It was campy but really enjoyable and completely aware of what it was from the beginning to the end.
Also, given that these days it seems that you'll get full on decapitations and maiming in PG-13 movies long before you'll get some harmless nudity in an R film, I applaud the film's (somewhat gratuitous) nude scene.
So what didn't I like about it?
As per usual...the viewers.
Oh not the folks in the theater when I saw it. They were fine. We all had a fun time laughing and overall treating the film with all the seriousness it was clearly meant to be taken.
Nope, as per usual, it's the folks online who annoy the crap out of me. I'm reminded why I rarely go online anymore to hear what people think about films. Why? Because it's not about the film, it's about how one can take an opinion about a film and turn it into an excuse to trash on their fellow human beings.
Be it Snakes on a Plane or Shakespeare in Love, let me give folks out there a bit of advice about how to react with others about this film or any other creative work:
Your opinion of a film, taken on its own, does not do a damn thing to make you cool or smart. Nor does someone else's opinion make them uncool, stupid, "retarded", or "gay."
Sure, the reason you like or dislike something might be a factor here. After all, if you like Mississippi Burning because you get to see African American children beaten...guess what? You're a stupid dick. Likewise, if you hate Godzilla because you think Japanese people are ugly subhumans...again, you're a stupid dick.
However, most of the time it's just an opinion. That's it. It is nothing more than an indicator of preference others may or may not agree with. Sure, there are methods of critical analysis and the like that can be employed but most of the time it boils down to "I liked it/I didn't like it."
So people can think just having a particular opinion makes them smarter or better than someone if they like...but it will remain my opinion that such folks are deeply flawed and probably need to be held more. Course, not by me, because I hate those arrogant judgmental motherfuckers.
And I admit to a bit of heightened annoyance in the realm of opinions about film because I know a lot about film. Enough that I can easily keep up with guys who are the 3rd PA from the left in the cast group photo of Camp Nowhere and yet spout off whenever they get the chance because they are "in the biz." In fact, given some of the people in the movie industry I've met and some stories I've heard, I suspect I'm a bit ahead of many folks. For example, I know Eliot Ness was a real guy.*
From All's Quiet on the Western Front to Zatoichi, I've covered a lot of ground in my film viewing. I'll watch Classic like Citizen Kane, Lost Horizon, and the like and can also enjoy stuff like Evil Dead II, King Arthur, and even some of those generally low quality films they run on Sci-Fi.**
And while I don't like everything I watch, I manage to not be a dick about people not liking certain films as long as they can extend me the same courtesy.
And yet, that seems so damned hard for folks.
I mean, how often do you hear a variation this conversation, online or otherwise:
I saw ______
Oh man that was awful, what a piece of crap.
I actually kind of liked it. I mean it wasn't great but I had fun.
Oh my god it was so bad. I can't see how anyone with any taste would like that film...
For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you too." And if the person who gives that response to can't figure out why their comments were insulting then the follow up is "Man, you are fucking dense, aren't you?"
Worse, I meet people who do something similar when they haven't even seen the film. Such as:
I saw _____.
Oh, my friend saw that and said it was awful.
Huh, I enjoyed it.
Oh he said it was terrible, and he likes real shitty films.
For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you...sideways."
And for those bothered that I suggest such rude responses in such conversations please consider this: the conversation is already over. The person has already said or implied with no subtlety that you've got no taste, like something shitty, etc... Really, the only place to go from there is away. But that's a conversation for another day, right now I've got to get my motherfucking cats out of the motherfucking trash.
* That was a blatant reference to Brian Michael Bendis' Fortune and Glory for those keeping track.
** For example, I recommend Minotaur...just imagine the concept is "Theseus and the Minotaur was written by Howard" and you'll at least find it interesting.
Also, given that these days it seems that you'll get full on decapitations and maiming in PG-13 movies long before you'll get some harmless nudity in an R film, I applaud the film's (somewhat gratuitous) nude scene.
So what didn't I like about it?
As per usual...the viewers.
Oh not the folks in the theater when I saw it. They were fine. We all had a fun time laughing and overall treating the film with all the seriousness it was clearly meant to be taken.
Nope, as per usual, it's the folks online who annoy the crap out of me. I'm reminded why I rarely go online anymore to hear what people think about films. Why? Because it's not about the film, it's about how one can take an opinion about a film and turn it into an excuse to trash on their fellow human beings.
Be it Snakes on a Plane or Shakespeare in Love, let me give folks out there a bit of advice about how to react with others about this film or any other creative work:
Your opinion of a film, taken on its own, does not do a damn thing to make you cool or smart. Nor does someone else's opinion make them uncool, stupid, "retarded", or "gay."
Sure, the reason you like or dislike something might be a factor here. After all, if you like Mississippi Burning because you get to see African American children beaten...guess what? You're a stupid dick. Likewise, if you hate Godzilla because you think Japanese people are ugly subhumans...again, you're a stupid dick.
However, most of the time it's just an opinion. That's it. It is nothing more than an indicator of preference others may or may not agree with. Sure, there are methods of critical analysis and the like that can be employed but most of the time it boils down to "I liked it/I didn't like it."
So people can think just having a particular opinion makes them smarter or better than someone if they like...but it will remain my opinion that such folks are deeply flawed and probably need to be held more. Course, not by me, because I hate those arrogant judgmental motherfuckers.
And I admit to a bit of heightened annoyance in the realm of opinions about film because I know a lot about film. Enough that I can easily keep up with guys who are the 3rd PA from the left in the cast group photo of Camp Nowhere and yet spout off whenever they get the chance because they are "in the biz." In fact, given some of the people in the movie industry I've met and some stories I've heard, I suspect I'm a bit ahead of many folks. For example, I know Eliot Ness was a real guy.*
From All's Quiet on the Western Front to Zatoichi, I've covered a lot of ground in my film viewing. I'll watch Classic like Citizen Kane, Lost Horizon, and the like and can also enjoy stuff like Evil Dead II, King Arthur, and even some of those generally low quality films they run on Sci-Fi.**
And while I don't like everything I watch, I manage to not be a dick about people not liking certain films as long as they can extend me the same courtesy.
And yet, that seems so damned hard for folks.
I mean, how often do you hear a variation this conversation, online or otherwise:
I saw ______
Oh man that was awful, what a piece of crap.
I actually kind of liked it. I mean it wasn't great but I had fun.
Oh my god it was so bad. I can't see how anyone with any taste would like that film...
For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you too." And if the person who gives that response to can't figure out why their comments were insulting then the follow up is "Man, you are fucking dense, aren't you?"
Worse, I meet people who do something similar when they haven't even seen the film. Such as:
I saw _____.
Oh, my friend saw that and said it was awful.
Huh, I enjoyed it.
Oh he said it was terrible, and he likes real shitty films.
For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you...sideways."
And for those bothered that I suggest such rude responses in such conversations please consider this: the conversation is already over. The person has already said or implied with no subtlety that you've got no taste, like something shitty, etc... Really, the only place to go from there is away. But that's a conversation for another day, right now I've got to get my motherfucking cats out of the motherfucking trash.
* That was a blatant reference to Brian Michael Bendis' Fortune and Glory for those keeping track.
** For example, I recommend Minotaur...just imagine the concept is "Theseus and the Minotaur was written by Howard" and you'll at least find it interesting.
posted by Jack at 3:05 AM
3 Comments:
It's certainly not something that's limited to the internet, although for whatever reason, it does seem to be more prevelant there.
I do see what you mean, but I'll be honest, people expressing their opinions like that hasn't really bothered me. It could be because I've been guilty of making such assertations about things in the past, or because they make it clear to me that the failing's really theirs.
You're right that the best response to that kind of thing is to just ignore it. While the internet makes this kind of asshatery far more common, it does at least try to make up for it by making it just as easy to ignore the people that do it.
I think the internet brings out the cowardly and nigh-sociopathic version of these types of comments though. After all, it seems the real jerks who engage in the worst sorts of this behavior (for a prime example look at boards at places like Ain't It Cool News...shudder) it seems like people get really nasty for what I can only discern is two reasons:
1) The cowardly one.
After all, you tell someone they're stupid inbred retards in person and they might interupt with a better insult, walk away making you look stupid, or just haul off and deck you. And sure, in the latter case you can probably sue or have them arrested...iof you're willing to go on record with what a dick you were being. The internet provides anonymity and a shield from pesky things like actually having to worry about the effects of your actions.
2) The (nigh)sociopathic one.
This is the "these people/these interactions aren't real" idea. Which is fine I guess...in an MMO or something. But mostly its just a version of what actual real life sociopaths tell themselves about the people they hurt with their actiosn.
And yeah, as a lawyer I can confirm people act like this to some degree in real life too. However, most do so with a bit of restraint. It might be external restraint, like not wanting to get arrested or hit...but even those things serve to limit such behavior.
Of course the real jerk-offs online also seem to operate under some delusion that since they are free to act like dicks that no one should stop them or endeavor to. This is the famed "I'm just expressing my opinion" line.
Which I've said time and time again is fine...it just doesn't immunize one to the response "Yeah, well my opinion is that you're being an asshole."
Plus there's the fact that most internet trolls and other beasties remind me of the guys in Shatner's song Has Been...which is not about the actot himself despite what I've seen some assume.
And finally, I'd probably have little problem with people acting up like this if there was a convient way to interject in the middle of their silly insults and shut them down. I've never met someone with that level of jerk in their behavior that can't be easily disarmed in person with a few well placed jibes.
Looks like John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory is once again proven right.
I also saw Snakes on a Plane, and enjoyed it a lot. I didn't have any hopes or expectations for it, just like the new Punisher movie. If more than 3 people I know enjoy a movie as much as I did, then whatever 'internet pundits' are saying has to be taken with a pound of rock salt.
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