Killing Giants

So the new Conan Trailer reminded me...

2011-05-05T22:06:00.001-07:00

One: That Jason Momoa looks more like Conan than Arnie ever will. The film might suck, but at least we get that.

Two: Nerd films are increasingly not for nerds.

Three: This is kind of our fault.

Too many nerds nitpick and freak out about stuff so far in advance of a film, book, comic release and then don't even bother to make ourselves a significant or unified presence in the market I'm starting to see why many media producers kinda ignore us.

I mean, I think I would most times, and I'm a huge nerd. It's gotten bad enough I occasionally look at my current novel I'm working on and say:

"You know, I should be selling out more...since the nerds will never actually love this. They'll nitpick and namecall and freak out. But if I put in a bit more technothriller and a bit fewer talking apes, I might have a bestseller."

And that makes me sad. I mean, I hope it's not true, but as I look at how modern-pulp thriller types like Rollins, Maberry, Preston and Child, and others handle the balance and how they manage bestsellers while simultaneously being almost non-entities in the geek crowd net circles? Eh, starting to wonder...

Okay so...

2011-03-01T04:29:00.000-08:00

Writing Project is done. Now I need to take a day or so and recharge before starting the next one.

Yeah, yeah, I know people say a real writer writes every day and crap. But I've found your average real writer (whatever that means) writes most days and thinks about it every day. Even when he's trying not to.

Latest Writing Project...

2011-02-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

Is nearing completion. Which is good because it's feeling like a bit of a slog.

Probably because I really want to get started on my new novel idea but I can't justify the time with other writing with an actual deadline to finish.

Still, should be done with it this week.

So I Can Cross Off My Bucket List...

2011-02-22T03:14:00.001-08:00

345) Have seen Women's Roller Derby

Honestly, it was pretty fun. I mostly got the rules and some of those girls can really move. Will probably go again, especially since it's one of the most post-apocalyptic sports I can attend that don't involve using radioactive cow skulls for balls or that involve old chargers with armor plating and knives mounted in the side.

I'm Still Vaguely Disappointed...

2011-01-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

My Red Lantern ring doesn't work.

I mean really, given the amount of rage inducing things that occur at regular intervals in my life? It really should.

Eh, whatever. 2011 picks up a bit of speed with the end of January. Some of this is good, some bad, but it is what it is. I've got a few writing projects to finish and then I'm diving back into fiction for a bit. Angry, angry fiction.

So I've Known this For Awhile...

2011-01-13T22:27:00.000-08:00

But recently I've really come to realize how much as an audience geeks suck.

Not you, person reading this. I'm sure you're awesome and you judge everything based solely on execution, merits, and quality. You never make knee-jerk reactions and your certainly don't fling your pre-judgments all over the internet as "the truth" and only listen to opinions that agree with and label everyone else uncritical idiots or whatever.

Actually, I hope you really don't do that. And for all I know, you don't. But a lot of geeks do. From movies to comics to whatever, even "professional reviewers" and the like who fall into the more geekish subdivisions of our culture manage too often to get kind of annoying about this stuff.

Take any upcoming "geek" movie. Let's say, Thor. Now many of us of the nerdly persuasion are happy about what we've seen of this film about crazy space gods done by a cast of guys with tons of awards and critical acclaim attached to their name. We might not like it when we see it, but we applaud the attempt.

But if you go beyond the "Man, looks pretty sweet" or "Hey, we'll have to see" reactions and try to gather "the geek reaction" to the film? Good luck. Because it's all over the place, nitpicky, and often incredibly off putting. Worse, nearly everyone who is involved in this level of nerdbitching is declaring themselves a voice of silent thousands if not millions.

Which is silly. To quote Ash from Army of Darkness "Look, I've never even seen these assholes before." And I'm so geeky I can name you every Asgardian god in Marvel comics and tell you how they differ from their Norse source material, including the guys who don't exist in the old myths.

But still, using the same example I'm just going to give a few examples of why, if you're Hollywood, you should probably ignore geeks as an entity- and I say this as a huge geek. Because these are some often repeated "important problems" I'm seeing discussed that could "ruin" the film:

1) He doesn't have Red Hair, Thor is supposed to have Red Hair!

Look, kids. Norse myth Thor is indeed a redhead. Marvel Thor? Nope. And this is a Marvel movie. Now if that's always bothered you and shit? Well, that's fine. But you're decades too late to declare how that's going to make the character not commercially viable.

2) The Hammer is too small!

Fun fact: The hammer in Norse myth had a very short handle due to various bits of legend. It was kinda half-finished. Thor's hammer has always been small in that sense compared to his overall body size, which is often supposed to be pretty damned big. Now Marvel hasn't stuck to that, but various artists over the years have done different versions of the hammer and it's never been all that massively huge. If you want to see a massive, throbbing hammer...look for Nate Fillion's penis in Dr. Horrible.

3) It's an Origin Story! Why does it have to be an Origin Story!

Uh yeah...this one isn't about you. I can tell you the origin of Thor. Some of you probably know it. Unless we're going to buy 1,000 tickets each? People need to be told what they're seeing. Why they should care. Also, most of the most successful superhero films? Origin stories. And whenever someone tries to do a crawl or voice over long enough to really give an origin? Snore. Some form of origin stories work and are usually necessary, stop whining.

Note I'm a colossal nerd and if I were an advisor on this film even I'd be saying "Look, ignore that crap. Make a good film that works. We'll be fine." And those are just three examples. The complaints go on and on and range well outside Thor into...nearly everything else geek-oriented. But it serves to illustrate a larger point- geeks collectively make a shitty audience.

Look at sports fans. They will bitch about every little part of a game. And the free agent trades. And armchair coaching. And so on. But at the end of the day if the team wins? They're happy. If it was a good game and the crowd was entertained? They're content.

Geeks, by contrast, too often will bitch until the end of time itself if things don't match the magic film in their head. Look at Avatar. Here's a scifi film so big and generally well received even Jesus saw it. And he thought it was at least worth his two and half hours and ten bucks. But if you want to find the crazy naysayers who claim it really didn't make money and it was terrible and racist and whatever? Yup, hit the geek websites and blogs. But then again, a lot of geeks liked it too. Hence, as an identifiable audience? We suck.

And so we shouldn't be nearly as surprised as we act when our input is often ignored. Because we really aren't "an audience." I probably think at least one thing you're sure "geeks love" is at best okay. I might think it's terrible. Or just a bit overrated. And I'm pretty sure even if I'm not right on some cosmic objective scale, my opinion is equally valid.

So yeah, to mangle a Men in Black quote:

A geek is smart. Geeks are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. 30 years ago everybody knew the Star Wars was the greatest movie franchise ever. 15 years, everybody knew you couldn't film Lord of the Rings, and five years ago, you knew that we'd never see another Kirk and Spock Trek film. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

So yeah, I love my fellow geeks. Individually. And I hope Hollywood and video game companies and the like do too. Because we make them a lot of money. But as a group? Eh, sorry, I'm just not that into you.

Someone Stole My Pants Tonight...

2011-01-06T00:21:00.000-08:00

Sure they also stole my wallet. But they stole my pants. They made a special effort to steal my pants.

See, the thief in question broke into my gym locker while I was working out. They took the wallet (okay) and the gym bag (eh maybe) and then also took the pants (what the?).

This is either insane or malicious. Since it's the middle of the Chicago winter? I'm favoring the latter.

Seriously, as annoying as the overall crime is I kinda want to beat the crap out of this guy for the extremely dickishness of taking my pants in winter. I mean, didn't they used to hang people for that sort of thing?

So It's a New Year...

2011-01-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

And I've finished very little so far.

Note this was intentional. I needed a break for about twelve different reasons- including needing to remember to actually take breaks. So I did, and really? I'm already doing better.

Lots of work to do in the coming months. Writing, decision making, business, self-improvement, etc... A crazy carnival of change and chaos and excitement and what have you. And of course, all of this I'm going to try and coast through with my new attitude of "Geez, man, take a breath and chill the hell out sometimes. You're already going 90mph, you don't need to push it to 100."

Which is incidentally an old attitude of mine going back to years ago. And I thought I'd been engaging in it still. But recent events and revelations made me realize I was actually doing a terrible impression of me back when I was actually like that. And like many terrible impressions it was funny for all the wrong reasons and kinda sad.

So that's stopping. So far I've found that slowing down a titch is making me universally more productive and well-adjusted, even if I can't point to a single thing I've fully and totally finished yet.

But that's cool. Because it's all about the progress on multiple fronts. It might take a bit longer to get some stuff done, but in the end it will be because of other things I'm not setting aside and just waiting for them to hit crisis mode so that they can't be ignored.

So yeah, apparently after realizing I really wasn't...I'm back. And that's pretty cool.

Slow Month for Getting Stuff Done

2010-12-21T04:56:00.000-08:00

December has turned into a slow month for getting things done. Lot's of stuff set up to do, not much actually getting done. Which is fine and all, but a wee bit annoying when I look back at what's been done.

That said, I've got several projects brewing. From professional stuff to fun side stuff to some story ideas. So assuming I actually get things done it should have a nice catelog of stuff to attack in the New Year.

This Just Needs to Be Said...

2010-11-16T02:38:00.000-08:00

I liked Avatar. I didn't love it more than anything, but I liked it.

And guess what? So did tons of other people. The movie didn't just make money, it made crazy crazy money. A lot of people found value in Cameron's work.

So please, can we shut the hell up about how it was actually terrible and such already? This is beginning to become the film critic version of people who still insist Iraq had huge stockpiles of WMDs. It's cool if someone didn't like it, but this "Oh am I the only one who realized how bad this is?" sort of whine about this particular film is now going on a year and a half or so and it's really really old.

So let me answer that: No, person who has to keep complaining whenever the movie is mentioned even casually...you aren't alone. You are, however, commercially irrelevant. Much as I was when Titanic came out (though I didn't find that film terrible, just a bit long and overhyped). And the solution to that is not to make a nuisance of yourself whenever one of the most popular films ever is brought up. Because it will be brought up sometimes.

So deal.

Really.

Okay So Thank God That's Over

2010-11-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the end of the midterm elections and my final divorce decree came in the mail.

So yeah, I'm taking this as a sign or something and trying to concentrate on moving forward.

Speaking of...

New writing projects coming up. Including, assuming all goes right, my own setting for an rpg. Well, not my own but our own, as I'm developing with a friend and fellow freelancer.

Working title is Colors. And no, that probably won't tell you a bunch about it right now. But there's not a lot to it right now. Just some great ideas and a lot of work to do. Hopefully it will happen, as I think it's really fun.

Might do this NaNoWriMo thing despite being a few days into the month and having not started but...man, who picks November for this? Ask me January or February.

So Apparently September is for New Stuff...

2010-08-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

New car.
New writing gig.
New shoes (well okay late August there but still).

Here's hoping this is a trend.

Okay This is Ridiculous...

2010-08-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

I really want these Chinese spambot designers whose creations keep posting on my blog dead.

Seriously, does this ever work for someone? Does someone say "Wow, an obvious bot posted in another language on my blog! I must check to see what they said!"

It's a pointless exercise and unfortunately I'm not having tons of luck blocking it.

Which is a shame because while I don't post to this thing often I do kinda like having it.

So Tomorrow or So...

2010-07-08T20:31:00.000-07:00

My DC Adventures Design Journal will be up showcasing one of the several characters in the DC Universe I wrote about for the first volume of Heroes and Villains from Green Ronin Publishing.

Should be fun and I greatly enjoyed working on this project. Almost done with vol. II's work. I've been sort of sitting on that last entry because of being busy with others stuff lately but I should still finish soon and thankfully weeks ahead of deadline!

Reading the second Joe Ledger novel and it's better than the first. This one includes bio-horrors and Nazis and is deliciously modern pulp-style fiction. Which is interesting because in many ways we recently had a demoralizing morally ambiguous military conflict followed by a horrible depression so maybe that's where this recent stint of "techno-thriller as modern pulp" story is coming from.

Edit: So not up yet due to approval delays. But soon.

So Work Continues...

2010-06-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

On DC Adventures Heroes and Villains. Volume I and II, though I is mostly moved on up the ladder.

Also, might be co-producing a podcast if the stars are right. And doing some writing and such for it, as it will be performance oriented. Should be fun if we can get it rolling.

Been reading Jonathan Maberry's Joe Ledger series. It's a bit more of the badass he-man than some are going to like but...I read Robert Parker, Elmore Leonard, and Robert Howard so I'm not bugged. It's got a mix of the stuff I like the most about 24 and NCIS and the like plus...zombies and mutants and Nazis. So yeah, pretty fun.

This month hates me...

2010-06-08T21:45:00.000-07:00

So between dental issues and divorce issues I've decided June hates me.

May wasn't that fond of me either, but June is actively trying to break me.

Which is a shame, because the weather's been nice.

In a Few Hours...

2010-05-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

Green Ronin announces their new project. Which is coincidentally my newest project. The one I've been so happy working on but wasn't telling people about because of NDA? Yeah, that one.

I know Green Ronin top man and guru Chris Pramas has tweeted about this a bit and I will say everything he's said so far is true. And that people will be super happy about the announcement.

Now I wait for it to be revealed. Which is weirdly almost as exciting as waiting to find out. Because I want to see the reactions of people.

So Writing is Done...

2010-04-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Again.

It will need rewriting, but that's fine. Part and parcel with the whole deal.

Two more books coming up soonish. So that should be cool. One in particular looks like it will give me a chance to flex my creative muscles a bit. Though I look forward to both of them greatly.

Not much else to say at the moment. Might post some stuff in a few days.

Pretty Much Came to a Realization...

2010-03-31T01:48:00.000-07:00

There is no real upside to not just picking game writing gigs solely on my enjoyment of the material. For the money, time, and most importantly dealing with worst of the fans there's virtually no reason to not write this stuff almost purely for me. Any ideas of "this will be a challenge" or "this might lead to some other interesting projects" are so erratic in their ability to pan out they seem not so much considerations as random possibilities. And after looking back at reactions to various works (mine and others) it's nearly pointless for the few bucks to do anything but just say "Hey, that sounds like fun. I'd like my name on that." Because you might do good solid work on a deadline and might get a full blown internet smear campaign. Or you might throw something together for kicks and people love it and think you're so awesome they name terminology and shit after you.

Note this isn't just games. Comics, movies, etc... all have this thing too. But they pay better and have a much higher rate of being able to capitalize on success.

Which makes his current gig even more cool. As I love the material dearly and will only be sad if it doesn't turn into more work because I want to write more of this. No other reasons of consequence.

As well it should be.

I Have to Ask...

2010-03-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

When did admissions of ignorance become banners of pride?

When I read online comments about various books, movies, etc... there is always some guy or gal who just has to pop up and say "I didn't read/watch/haven't even heard of this but I could tell it was stupid/hateful/terrible/racist/secretly loves to rape kittens."

And this is usually in support of someone who has actually experienced the subject in question and is saying what they thought. What? Is that really a great booster for the viewpoint? Hey look! Some dude who knows fuck all what he's talking about thinks I'm right! See? Let's put this one to bed, clearly there's no more to say! Or on the other hand is it a great counterpoint? I read this whole five book series cover to cover and analyzed it for part of my grad degree but "SurlyBat223" looked at a preview and declared it total crap with no redeeming value. Well, I guess we're at an impasse.

I miss the days where an interest in liberalism and equality didn't mean that we had to talk all opinions as equal. Because...what?

No really, that makes negative sense. Think about it.

A Realization About Me and Harry Potter

2010-02-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

Now let me start by saying I don't hate Harry Potter. I like the movies and the first book was fun. Then I started watching the movies and I didn't feel much like reading the books. This is rare for me, but there it is.

But yeah. I don't hate Harry and his world of magic, muggles, and meaty later novels that really seemed to need an editor not afraid to chop words from one of the world's richest people. I'm glad they exist, in fact.

But the funny thing is the reason I'm so glad is because the success of these novels managed to make it easier for authors to get books out I really like. As publishers try to discover the next Potter, I get a lovely mix of truly awesome fantasy.

Now why do I like this stuff better? Why do I think that, at least personally, these "Potter knock offs" are vastly preferable? Simple, as entertaining as the Potterverse is I actually don't care that much.

Magical boarding school run by Obi-Wan the Gray is a fun idea. Fighting Darth Noseless and his army of evil Sith witches is even more fun. And having the hero be Luke Skywalker crossed with Timothy Hunter (I still find the Hunter similarities a bit jarring) makes it even more fun.

But in the end it's not where my heart lies. I like fantastic worlds, superheroes, and utterly crazy stuff like that. So it's no surprise I prefer Potter for what he has enabled more than for his own sake.

So what sorts of young adult friendly fiction am I talking about? What series do I give a "thanks for getting publishers interested" nod to Mr. Potter while I simultaneously pass up all his books for? Glad you asked.

Or you know, you didn't. But I'm going to tell you anyway:

1) Abarat (Clive Barker)
The sheer imagination of this series floors me. I want to come up with crazy shit like this and have it hang together as well as Barker's setting. Unfortunately, I think the craziness of the setting on some level with always limit its success. Still, the books are fantastic and I eagerly await the release of the third volume of the series.

2)Percy Jackson and Olympians (Rick Riordan)
Okay so the movie was merely okay. But the book series of modern demigods fighting ancient Titans and monsters is crazy fun. And honestly it flows faster and freer for me than Rowling's work. It might not be as deep as Potter's world, but that's because it doesn't need to be. By basing the setting in Greek myth the story comes with centuries of stories attached and characters fit into this rather than have the setting's nearly completely fabricated cosmology molded around them. In that way it's like Supernatural v. Buffy. And while I like both, I have come to strongly prefer Supernatural. Your mileage may, of course, vary.

3) Skulduggery Pleasant (Derek Landy)
If Barker reaches the depths of imagination I envy then Landy wrote the story I wish I had thought of. A film noir style PI skeleton sorcerer fighting Lovecraftian style alien gods with the help of hot magic using swordswomen, unscrupulous tattooed librarians, the world's greatest boxer and tailor (same guy), and of course his plucky kid sidekick who is descended from a race of ancient sorcerers and kings? Seriously, sign me up and get out of my head!

4) Un Lun Dun (China Mieville)
I love the craft of Mieville's writing but I often find it almost obtuse for the sake of being obtuse. Not so his children's book of forgotten cities. Here we see almost Abarat levels of clever world-building mixed with some wordplay based ideas that are silly, even stupid, and yet totally awesome. And with writing that is skillful but very accessible. I don't know if China will ever write a follow up to this, but the book stands alone just fine.

5) Summerland (Michael Chabon)
I know, shocking isn't it that Chabon wrote a great book? A book about Norse mythology and baseball, no less. Not much more to say about it other than it's very good, very well written, and I'd like to see Chabon dip his hand into young adult lit a few more times.

There are others on this list, but a few are first books in a series and I'm not sure how they will hold up. I also leave out guys who are doing just fine witout any boost from the Potter success, like Gaiman. Still, I find myself beholden to Potter in the funniest ways. Especially since I've read nearly none of his adventures and probably won't any time soon.

Still, thanks Harry. Go get yourself one of those freaky ass jellybeans on me.

Note: I didn't mention the current YA Wunderkind, Stephanie Meyer and her Twilight novels. There are two great reasons for this. One, I don't think she's blazing any new trails so much as just cashing in on the latest round of vampire romance crazy we get every few decades. Two, I think her books are terrible. While Rowling might seem a bit overrated and maybe not tailor made to my tastes I do generally like her stuff. I wouldn't read the entire Twilight series on a bet. And because of these two reasons I don't think she's going to inspire good "knock-offs" or "copycats" (instead we get crap like CW's Vampire Diaries) nor do I think her influence will last much beyond her own commercial success.

I Might Just Explode...

2010-02-10T22:32:00.001-08:00

I have a new freelance gig.

It promises to be awesome. Seriously awesome.

And that's really all I can say about it right now.

Don't get me wrong as an attorney I totally get the reason for NDAs. And as both a sworn officer of the court and a professional writer I wouldn't blab here or elsewhere on the intrawebs about this project.

But it's going to be a long few weeks before this gets announced.

So I've Been Reading Dan Abnett's Warhammer 40,000 Novels...

2010-01-22T04:05:00.000-08:00

And they're pretty darned good. Like Sharpe's Rifles in space.

And Mr. Abnett, while most of his soldiers are male, eventually adds a few kickass female soldiers and characters to the mix.

Which brings me to the point of this blog post. Long ago, apparently in an issue of the old gaming mag White Dwarf someone involved with Games Workshop (the guys who creared Warhammer 40,000, from now on referred to as 40k) decided that the setting's big badass default protagonists were all dudes.

They made some noise about the special genetic process only working on guys and suggested maybe the space marine power armor only hooked up to the user's dick.* And so like the Little Rascals, the Space Marines pinned up signs outside their Chapter Houses that said "No Girls Allowed." They may have also said "Let not a Vagina taint the purity of our Chapter" because the Space Marines can be dicks like that.

So you'd think that over the 25 or so years that 40K has been around someone would say "Man this is stupid. Let's have chick Space Marines. It will be badass! They could be like Michelle Rodriguez without the DIUs! It will be awesome!"

Well, you'd think that. But no. Apparently in the super enlightened 2010 in the "Tell me again how much more liberal you are than me, Mr. non-US UK-living person" they haven't bothered to say "Boobs and bolters** do in fact mix!"

Now to be fair, the designers have added the Sisters of Battle as a playable army and these girls even got their own expansion in the 40K inspired Dawn of War video game series. These Sisters are like the worse (or best, depending on your views) nuns you've even seen. Nuns in power armor. Nuns that will fucking cut you.

But they're still not Space Marines. In fact, the Space Marines are a whole other branch of the Imperium, who are the human faction i the 40k setting (think Roman Nazis who worship a Psychic Undead Pharoh and are totally heavy metal and you've basically got the idea).

So what's up? I dunno. But apparently I was informed by some folks online that when this subject is brought up in various forums people go apeshit. Some folks freak out about girl marines. Others love the idea. And like the great Space Marine Chapters the Steel Sharks and Bloody Jets they fight. And sadly, I can totally see this happening. Wargamers, the bulk of 40k fans, are not known for their massive number of females and in my experience a small but vocal subset of 40K fans get this bullshit idea that because they play poetry spouting psychotic space templars on the gaming table they are some sort of superhuman modern warrior poets in real life. And that sort of attitude seems to lead to dickery. And they aren't going to be happy if some gamer girl (or guy) somewhere wants to start the Star Furies Space Marine Chapter...even if they will never meet this person or play with them.

And all this over letting fictional girls into a made up sci-fi military order. Really?

Now I do like the 40K setting. And I get that Games Workshop needs to court its audience as they find them, not as they'd like them to be. But c'mon folks, time to join the 20th century. Now that its 2010.

Anyway, just a random thought or twelve. Glory to the Emperor and all that.

* I'm kidding about one of these. Guess which one.

** A common Space Marine weapon in the 40Kverse. Do keep up.

Harlan Ellison once wrote...

2009-12-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

About how he gets these great ideas from mishearing things.

Well, I think I hit upon my version of this...typos.

Sometimes I will mean to type something and my fingers or some forgotten corner of my brain will just not listen. Instead they fire off randomly and every once in a while give me something new and interesting.

Example?

I was checking for some information on the new video game Dragon Age: Origins. It's a great game by the way and I highly recommend it.

Here's the thing. When Googling the game I dropped a letter and instead typed:

Dagon Age.

I stopped before I got to "Origins". But now I'm thinking. What is Dagon Age? My gut reaction is that its Lovecraftian horror meets fantasy- like the Conan and Kull stories except where the Cthulhu Mythos features much more prominently. Like where kingdoms of Deep Ones rule from great cities and war with various other fantasy kingdoms.

And why is it Dagon's Age? Why not Cthulhu or Mother Hydra or whatever? What makes him so special?

Lovecraft himself touched on stories kind of like this, but he never did it with elves...so maybe there's more to this idea.

Alternatively, this might be about the head of the Phillistine pantheon. The ancient god of agriculture. But then what's the story behind the "Dagon Age?" A great Phillistine empire which grows to become a major force like Rome or other famous "world spanning" empires.

Or maybe...the two combine. After all, some theorized the Phillistines came from "sea peoples." Which is probably where Lovecraft got the idea for his Dagon and the Deep Ones, at least in part. But what if you fold Lovecraft back into the mix again, adding his myths to the old ones to create something new? And then you have the Phillistines coming from the sea with their god Dagon, who is much more like Lovecraft's sea monster god and...

I just typoed again. Right as I was doing that. I corrected it but before I did "the Phillistines coming from the sea with their dog Dagon." Huh. So let's fold that in and what do we have?

Maybe the sea peoples with their Lovecraftian pet god rise to control the earth. Do other cultures have powerful dogs? Does the great Egyptian dog Ra aid the Egyptians? How about the Greek king of the dogs, Zeus (who incidentally, hangs out with Higgens)? What does an Age ruled by Phillistine mermen and their powerful dog look like?

And now I'm off. Mind is a-racing and all because I can't type straight.

So Half the Flesh on My Left Hand Just Peeled Off...

2009-12-02T02:47:00.000-08:00

No. Really. I mean, only the outer layer but still...

So anyway, therein lies a tale.

My recent plans to catch up on some writing were totally thwarted by this mysterious rash/burn thing on my left hand. It was on two of my three fingers (ring and pinkie) and about half my palm. The skin turned red, raised, burned and itched. Then it stiffened and cracked. Then, after days of applying cortizone and other such medicinals it looked better. The skin was thick and looked like a burn after a few weeks of healing, but it was generally better in terms of pain and all.

So last night I went to the gym. Short workout to get back into the swing of things. Then I sat in the steamroom for awhile, figuring the extra moisture might help the very dry flesh on my hand. Seriously, half my left hand looked like it was that of a 70 year old and lotion and the like wasn't doing a ton. So hey, I figured a bit of steam might not hurt.

And it didn't really. It actually made it look healthier and less cracked and wrinkly. Then the back of my hand, which had also been red and irritated earlier, began to peel a bit. Then I noticed the skin around my pinky was loose. So, in what could have been a terrible idea, I picked at it a bit. Suddenly a strip of skin a inch or so wide peeled off my finger and down my palm. Beneath it? Perfectly healthy, smooth skin with no sign of the previous burn or whatever. Some peeling later and my hand it mostly normal again minus a rough patch or two that are still there.

So yeah, what the hell?

But hey, I guess I can get back to writing. Now that I'm done...molting.

And let me just say if this is my mutant power? I'm kinda disappointed.

So Dragon Age...

2009-11-11T02:42:00.000-08:00

Kinda slowed my writing for a week or so. Its a fantastic game and I recommend it to anyone who likes fantasy rpgs. But man, it's a time sink. And I'm still playing it, now on my second character.

Still, that was a nice diversion but I need to finish some other stuff. Writing had a brief spurt and then fizzled a bit but I'm using this as a chance to give my last chunk of stuff a chance to stew and bit so I can see if I actually still like it or if I need a new idea or severe rewrite.

Novel ideas keep swirling around in my head half formed. I think I'm going to soon pick one of the "easier" ones and start on it. Some of my ideas are neat, but very research heavy or perhaps a tad ambitious. When I find myself saying "And then in the third book..." maybe I should tackle something a bit more self-contained to start.

I'm starting to get annoyed with the diminishing return that is game writing. I love rpgs, but the money is crap and there's always some fan out there who completely hates your stuff and is more than willing to trash on it. Add to this it's not a whole lot easier to get people to return emails and the like and it's often not worth the trouble.

That said, I'm not going to stop trying to work on that stuff completely. I just think my focus will shift.

But that doesn't mean I will stop writing about the sort of things you find in games. Right now top of my "easy novel" ideas is a procedural that features the world's biggest dwarf and a perky necromancer (note I didn't say what kind of procedural). Or course one of my multi-novel ideas might get a shot in the arm in terms of chances for success if Avatar and V revitalize the "humans v. aliens" sci-fi interest. So there is that.

Or I might start both and let them race.

In any case, I'm finishing this short story soon. And then we'll see.

In honor of the holidays...

2009-10-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

I might be writing about monsters and strange places soon-ish. It's one of the projects I mentioned in my last post and things are advancing on it at a decent pace.

So yeah, coolness.

Which means I really need to sit down this weekend and push through some of my short story. Luckily though, I wasn't stupid and didn't agree to do so much of this new project I couldn't do both.

Which is a real danger when you're between gigs actually. You want to work, work, work and sometimes agree to budget your time for sleep, sleep, sleep, and food, food, food. To say nothing of actually being social and stuff.

On the fun side of things:

1) I've been enjoying Borderlands on the 360. It's a fun shooter with a ton of guns and a decent sense of humor. It's something to have fun with while I take a break from Champions Online, which I love but know I'll be playing more soon when the holiday events start popping up.

2) I've also been reading a book called Leviathan (no, not the Hobbes one). It's a fun alt-history with steampunk mecha and genetically engineered monsters set before WWI. It's nominally young adult/teen fantasy but honestly I think that's more because publishers and bookstores say "Oh, the main character is a teenager! Put it in YA!" In any event its a fun read and one that I recommend.

3) TV's been pretty darned good this season. House has been great. Heroes is good this year too. Sanctuary and Stargate Universe both show a lot of promise. And Supernatural and Sons of Anarchy...oh, how good are these shows? There's barely any words to do them justice. Sons is probably a bit better overall, but Supernatural has maintained 5 years of quality and for that I will always love it- no Supernatural equivalent to Buffy Season 6 or Angel season 4 in sight.

And a bit more on Supernatural:

And Whedon fans reading this can just start calling me names now, as much as I loved Buffy and Angel I think Supernatural is a more consistent and well put together show. If nothing else, it has a few less repeated themes and better soundtracks. Also, I really love using actual folklore and legends in the show. The Buffyverse tendency to make everything up was fun, but it meant that no matter how much of a folklore and mythology geek you were you had to have the show explain things to you (except for a handful of creatures like vamps and werewolves). Supernaturals melding of myth and American culture really hits home with me. From Wendigos to H.H. Holmes, the show takes the viewer on a tour of the US through this weird mystical lens that I really appreciate and which often I can figure out while watching. Which makes it also a sort of detective show. Admittedly we've lost a bit of that in the most recent season, but it's still angels and demons and the like and not Glornebian Demon Weasels or whatever (which is fun, but not really the part of Buffy I felt was the actually the best).

Plus Supernatural really made me appreciate classic rock again...which is nice.

I am terrible...

2009-10-21T20:27:00.001-07:00

About updating this thing. Really.

But anyhoo, managed to not sleep for two days, go to two parties this weekend. One of which lasted for 12 hours. So yeah, I guess I've still got it, by some definition of "it".

Anyhoo, onto something more serious. I'm in process of writing a horror short story for an upcoming anthology. I'm still working out a few niggling details but it looks to be coming along okay. It certainly is the month for it.

Also might have another gig. It's for a line of licensed products but I can't say more than that right now.

And I'm trying to get another person to return my emails. I don't think I'm being snubbed or anything, I just think that he hasn't gotten around to it. The good news here is that one of the other writers for this company has said some really great things about my work and that's always nice.

So yeah, busy and all that. Legal work continues to be more about getting work than making money at it, but then that's far from uncommon in this economy. On the plus side, I've got lots of time to write and do other things.

I'm actually going to try to update this thing a bit more often. I usually have at least some stuff to say...but I often don't talk about it here. Which is sad because I've got such a great title for this thing.

This will either make perfect sense or no sense...

2009-09-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

Probably based mostly on how often you come across similar things in your own life.

"People are like that because they're just brainwashed sheep" isn't a reason. It's something that you should outgrow at worst in college. Preferrably high school. It's the intellectual equivalent of sneering at your parents because you're fifteen and have it all figured out.

"X happens because group Y is lazy/stupid/not as cool as me" is also not a reason. It's actually worse than the above. If you can give reasons why this is true? Awesome. But so often that's the end of it.

If a lot of people like something and you don't? That's fine. But ninety plus percent of the time it's just because you have different tastes. It's not because you're any better, smarter, better educated, or more clever. And please god, don't try to make it about that. Then you're that guy. Don't be that guy.

In fact, every once and awhile you're the one who doesn't actually get it. Keep that in mind. Everyone will be happier. For example, if you and three friends are watching Buffy and they all laugh when this exchange happens:

Giles: We few, we happy few
Spike: We band of Buggered

And you think "That's not funny, why are they laughing at some guy talking about how screwed they are? That's stupid!" Congratulations, you're the ignorant dip who doesn't know the St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V and how the character changed it from an inspirational to doomsaying with one word. If you keep such possibilities in mind you likely won't annoy everyone with a sneering comment that lets everyone know that, at least for that moment, you're the ignorant dip.

Also, in all honesty, snarky comments about things you know about are way funnier.

On a related note, realize that as snarky or dismissive as you're being about something or someone there's a good chance someone else can do it better if they are so inclined. Which isn't that important until you remember it might be the person you're targeting with your attitude, directly or otherwise. Or in other words, don't get into a "Yo mama" fight with a guy who has figured out you're actually sensitive about your mother's drinking problem and then push him until he takes the gloves off. You'll feel bad, and so will he when he thinks about how he made you cry. Then he's gonna feel guilty about that rush of perverse pleasure he got making you cry. And you're still crying. So really, everyone loses.

These are all good things to realize. If nothing else, the more people that understand this the better my day goes. And really that's what it's all about.

Me.

Kidding.

Sorta.

A Bit of Expansion on My Last Post...

2009-07-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I said that exaggerated criticisms about work sometimes hit a bit hard.

Let me clarify why that is.

Y'see, writing an rpg book often is a pretty big process. Writers write, developers oversee, editors look it over, and usually other writers take a look at your stuff for their chapters as well. In truth, usually only the developers and occasionally the editors are full staff for the various companies with all those other folks being freelancers. Deadlines are less fluid than with many novels and the like, since publishing schedules and legal ownership of the properties involved means that if a writer or artist doesn't make the schedules the company in charge might just get someone else. Contrast this with a novel, where for example no matter how long George R.R. Martin takes to write his next Song of Ice and Fire novel they're still going to let him write it.

So there's a lot of places for things to go wrong, and a lot of places for them to go right. Pressure is often high and as I said before, money is not great. And a lot of people involved. Thus when I say a book is up for an award it's more common and honestly proper to say "a book I worked on/wrote on/edited on/whatever is up for an award" instead of "I have a book up for an award!" which is what a novelist might say.

Why does this matter? Usually it doesn't. People do their jobs, work on the books because they enjoy their work, and all is fine.

Except for two things. Mistakes and the internet. Or maybe the nature of fandom.

Because when a mistake happens on a book it's not just that the writer made it. Or the artist goofed. Or the developer didn't notice it. Or that the editor missed it. Or even that the other artists and writers who looked it over didn't catch it. It's all of that.

Now we can argue that mistakes should happen less often with that system than another book because of all the eyes which pass over it. I don't want to comment on that especially since before going to press at larger (that is to say non-rpg) companies many other books are honestly read by far more people than that.

The problem , or maybe annoyance if you will, comes when the mistake is noticed by someone reading the book.

And hey, I get it. Never fun to see those mistakes. And in a perfect world, rpg books, which share a fair amount in common with technical manuals with prose or entertainingly written textbooks would not have those. They'd also cost what technical manuals and textbooks cost because everyone would get paid to product that level of work. My books in law school were five hundred dollars or more a semester. And that was over half a decade ago. Undergrad wasn't much better.

But the rpg market can't sustain those costs. Many games which try to charge over sixty bucks at for the main book are passed up by many people. And supplements and the like usually can't be more than thirty five at most.

Again, nature of the beast. And not an excuse for mistakes, more an explanation of how cost benefit analysis and the realities of the system means that mistakes happen and with a bit more frequency than in some other fields.

So where was I? Ah yes, the internet and blame placing. The problem with all of this really comes when something gives or the rather delecate process creates a error or two. Then anyone who can be identified as the source of the error gets a disproportional amount of crap for it from customers or just people who didn't buy the book, but picked it up in the store, or by some other writer who is also a fan and just has to say something about it (presumably because on some level the idea that "I would never make that mistake!" Which is true, you'd make some other one. Nobody's perfect).

Now why is that so frustrating? I mean the writer, artist, or whatever made the error, right?

And yes, that's definitely part of it. Arguably the biggest part. However, editing missed it. Development missed it. Those are the other places you can probably argue is the biggest part in many cases. Other writers who looked it over missed it (this is bigger deal when the writers say something looked good and/or publically make statements about how they've worked to increase product quality). And so on.

And yet, in my experience that's not how the blame and reactions are placed. As soon as you, artist or writer or whoever make a mistake you're on the hook for all of it. It's like you personally took you first draft or initial drawing, snuck it past the editor's desk, kidnapped the developer's kids to blackmail them into not touching a word of your masterpiece, and never actually showed it to anyone else before press. Keep in mind that you also had all the time in the world, would have been paid the same no matter how much you blew the deadlines, and where given your draft back twenty times to fix after it was poured over by a team of expert ninja editors. You also got a pony and a party.

This assumes that someone wants to blame you as the writer/artist, of course. I've seen people do the same with the developer, editor, etc... But it's a lot of teeth gnashing, snide comments, and the like. A lot of crap for a few cents a word or a few bucks for a illo, huh? To paraphrase Raul Julia in his last movie: "The day you saw that ten word error in that rpg book was such an important day for you. You questioned my sanity, accused me of being stupid, and wouldn't shut up about it. For me it was about two bits and thirty seconds the day before a deadline."

So why is this annoying? Simple. Because if you do good work more often than not a few really nice folks are happy about it and say so. A lot of other people buy the books and are happy about it. Even the mistakes usually cause many of these people to just sigh quietly and then enjoy the thousands of other words or many other pictures in the product. But the people who are upset have no sense of scale. They are, on some level, working out their issues with the game line, company, and other things by giving you an immense level of shit when you consider the whole situation.

Why is that so annoying? Because this leads to things like someone accusing you of basically plagarism and being stupid, mouthing off about it, and then maybe apologizing to you about out of the public eye with something like "Well, sorry I said that stuff...but I was really angry at these other people tangentially involved and man I was mad! So yeah...what was I doing? Oh yeah, apologizing that you were offended by the stuff I'm totally not actually retracting and certainly won't admit publically was out of line! Sorry. Did I mention how mad and hurt I was?"

Anyone want to think I just made that example up? Ah, I like to dream too, Hank.

Seriously, this leads to encounters with people that if I ever run into them in real life will go like this:

Them: "Hey, nice to meet you." (totally avoiding all the shit they said before)
Me: "Oh hey, I remember you. You're a cock. Anyway, love to chat but...I don't want to."

Note it's not just writing. The anonymity of the internet leads to this too. Which never helps.

And so all that, combined with a desire to just own up to the error, say "oops", maybe have other people involved chime in with "yeah he messed that up, but we didn't catch it which we should have, and the other work is top notch" and cash the fat paycheck (yes Virginia, that's sarcasm) factors in. Because rarely is the work worth the crap. Especially since more often than not that crap comes with other baggage you didn't help load onto the plane in the first place.

None of this is helped by the fact that unless you're in a very small group of writers and artists the general reaction to good product is much more diffused across everyone involved. If anything, it weighs in more heavily on the companies as a whole. So if it's good, usually you're one part of the team who did a great job. If there's an error or mistake, you suck. And by then the team usually has evaporated.

And if you say any of this you're a whiner or whatever. But who gives a crap about that really? You're already the crazy sucky guy. At that point seems sensible to just say "To hell with it! My fault, but not just my fault. You want to blame me that much? Pay me more or give me more credit when it goes right. If not, then make your complaints and then shut up about it, will ya?"

So yeah, Ennie award nomination...that's my mantra. Because if not I'm gonna bust a blood vessel laughing the next time someone says "Wow, you're writing in the industry? That must be really fun!"

And don't get me wrong. It is. Except for all the times it's not.

Melancholy and the Infinite Mehness

2009-07-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm up for an award at Gen Con for Scion Ragnarok. Well, okay the book is. But I wrote a good chunk of it so hey!

Which is awesome and cool. Unfortunately, another book I just wrote came out as well and the responses have been...mixed. Many people seem to actually like it but a few errors and perhaps a misjudgment or two crept in.

And of course that's most of what many folks are talking about. Which is fine...come to bury Jack and not to praise him and all. But it's kind of a buzzkill as well.

RPG writing is a curious beast. It pays pretty bad for writing gigs. And it's not a ton easier to get jobs and keep them coming with the big companies than with some other fields. For example, despite being now an award-nominated writer my schedule is currently pretty much clear for projects. Add to this that at least online many fans (and some other writers) have expectations that would make a utilitarian economist fall on his pen and it's not always easy to be super up about the process.

Which is a rather tough pill to swallow. On one hand you get the message "Wow, your stuff is so good we're going to put you up for an award at the biggest gaming con!" on the other you get "You made these two mistakes out of tens of thousands of words written! How could you? Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?" and so on. And while the accolades make the deadlines and weak money mostly worth it, the criticisms also sometimes hit a bit hard. Especially given I've been doing this for over 10 years off and on (during law school and much of my marriage it was more off than on, but even then I got some work out).

But anyway, Gen Con and a possible award are coming up. So bonus!

Man I Have a Lot of Movies...

2009-07-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

So I'm putting up new DVD shelves and I discovered that I have an obscene amount of movies.

Now of course I already knew this, but the more I sort and put away them the more I realize I not only have a lot of films, I have them from all eras, genres, etc...

You want to watch a Jimmy Stewart Western? Come to my place. A western period, really.

Vampire Hunters? Got 'em.

Swashbucklers? From the forties to current decade I'm good.

And then if gets weird. French alchemist digitally rendered thriller? Yep. Vikings v. Aliens? Yep. Lots of HK action films, including some stuff I'm not sure is commercially available here in the US? Why, yes, I have that too.

I know why all this is, of course. I love movies. A lot. I watch many films of various quality the way many people read magazines, watch reality TV, and the like. It's my "go to" entertainment and often it causes me to "got to" weird and wonderful places.

Still, it's a bit odd to realize you own not one, but two copies of a Pre-Revolutonary France Kung Fu Serial Killer Monster movie. Or Thomas Jane's Punisher (the second copy had an animated prequel included!).

But yeah, so movie party at my place...pretty much any time after I get all this stuff put away again.

Your Internet Sucks...

2009-07-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been realizing that I don't use the internet for a lot of things other people I know do. And since we're talking a lot of geeks here, the net of what people do use this crazy series of brass tubes and trained messenger squirrels for is cast pretty wide. This tendency of me to be the old guy on the porch sometimes causes issues. Usually not, but from time to time I simply refuse to be informed about some things via the net that others seem to love.

Like what sorts of things? Funny you asked, I just happen to have a list:

1) Comics

This is the big one. Please stop trying to talk to me about comics based on internet rumormills, previews, discussions on places like Newsarama, and so on. Especially comics that aren't out yet. I don't mind the occasional facebook note or thread on a forum but I am so sick of net-based comics culture I want to fucking scream.

Why? Two reasons: Everything is a big fucking deal and nobody wants to actually read the damned books anymore. Before a single issue of a remotely popular book comes out these days it's been previewed, discussed, spoiled, dissected, and bitched about. The artist and writer have been demonized, insulted, and the like. The issues and plot points raised in the story have been torn into itty bitty pieces and everything has been reacted, and overreacted to, and anyone who doesn't agree with the prevailing opinion is of course mocked and insulted. Hell, when the issue comes out it's almost anti-climactic and virtually nobody who had already pre-judged it has anything new to say. Their minds are made up and it's all just months more of the same "Look at me!" spectacle.

Now I realize this makes me a bitter old man on the subject. Y'know what though? I am a bitter old man who thoroughly enjoys many a comic book. Who gets to see stories actually unfold and plot twists actually happen. It's totally worth it. Really. People should try it, unless it's really the drama and attitude that attracts. Then go nuts, but shut the fuck up around me about who dies, who comes back, who's the "real bad guy", and most of all how "bad and poorly written" the whole thing is. Because really, I'm not listening to you. At all. You're just getting in the way of my personal interaction via funny books with the artists and writers. And it really seems like my way is more fun.

2) Video Games

See comic books. Now here I like to see some dev diaries and the the like a bit more than comics, but then those are basically a mixture of self torture and whetting my appetite for the game to come. I don't care if you played my favorite game and just have to tell me how bad it is or talk about how stupid the developers are and how they are going to mess it up. Because, at least on this subject, to me you have absolutely nothing useful to say. So stop bothering me. Go play some game you like...maybe I'll even play it and we can talk about something positive.

And no, I don't care what some friend of yours told you who is a beta tester. He might be an idiot. If he can give me actual reasons, cool and maybe I'll want to hear it then. But mostly it's more of the same "he says it sucks." Shrug. I say tomatoes suck, but I know plenty of people who love them and to them my declaration doesn't mean dick. Same applies here.

3) Movies

Noticing a trend? Much the same but with one exception. I like to talk about the actors, plots, and craft of filmmaking. I really do. I'll do so online or in person. But if all you can say over and over again are vague and annoying comments like "You liked it? It was so boring! Really it was bad!" to me? Shut up. That's not a conversation, that's the end of a conversation. And without more info, it's a nearly useless thing to say.

Also, movies and games both suffer from much the same prejudging crap as comics. The number of times I've seen someone say "I don't need to see/play/read this to know how bad it is, I just know!" online is legion. And every time it makes the person who says it that much dumber. This goes double for people who've never done a creative thing in their life outside their livejournal or a class project who go on and on about how they could do things so much better than a particular director, actor, etc... Because generally they can't. In fact they can't so aggressively the attempts to prove they can are often simultaneously hilarious and heart-wrenching.

Because no you don't know. You might have a guess based on limited information. But that's it. And unfortunately the net is all about limited information. There's a wealth of info to be sure, but it's buried under lies, opinions, crap, and sometimes blocked by the user's inability to research or reason through it all. This is why people like citations in technical internet discussions. Because most people are wise enough, no matter how foolish they otherwise are, to want something to back up crazy talk.

Anyway, getting off track. Other things:

4) How hot or ugly someone is.

After the sixteenth "Why do people think Megan Fox is hot?" internet query followed by some chubby girl or guy squeezed into an ill-fitting outfit who looks like they haven't slept in days being met with "OMG, you are a goddess!" I have determined that nearly none of you motherfuckers can be trusted to tell me how pretty someone is. I make some exceptions for friends, but after a buddy of mine told me Pauly Perette was, and I quote "Not hot at all" one time I decided that I need to be careful there too. I mean no offense by this, you probably shouldn't listen to me on this topic either. Though at least I think Megan and Pauly are damned pretty, so that might at least tell you I'm not totally mad.

5) The Law

Yes, I'm a lawyer. No, I don't want to talk about it. I went that route before and even occasionally do in some cases but after being told I didn't know my chosen profession despite the facts that I went to a top tier school for and have been practicing in for several years now because of something someone read on Wikipedia...well, I just have to say fuck it.

What's more, as a lawyer I caution all of you reading this to not listen to anything told to you online from anyone you don't know who is a lawyer. It's a recipe for getting into trouble. Because while Uncle Bob might have heard if you wave your penis at the cops and yell about molesting children they'll just assume you're nuts and leave you alone I can tell you that most of what laymen like Uncle Bob tells you is crap. It's, at best, half right (and that example is not right at all, by the way).

There are more, and some day I might write them all down. But that's good for now.

2009-06-09T11:31:00.001-07:00

The Annotated Ragnarok

So awhile back I did a book for White Wolf/CCP, Inc. for their Scion game line about Ragnarok, the Norse Gods, etc... You can buy it in fine game stores, Borders, Barnes & Noble, and online. And please do, since it might mean more work for me. Plus, it's awesome.

And because it's me, I included a lot of weird references, in jokes, and other bits in the book that might only be funny to me, but they're there.

And since I am occasionally asked for insight into how my mind works when I'm writing, I'm going to detail these little bits and easter eggs. Note I'm only going to do this for the parts I wrote, but that's still about half of the book. I'm also not going to go into super-depth about why I wrote certain gods and characters in a particular way as much as I'm going to peel back the curtain a bit.

So here goes:

p. 32: The sidebar on this page details how to fly using the tried and true Marvel Comics Thor method of throwing something (in his case the hammer Mjolnir) and grabbing on to it immediately afterward to propel yourself. The sidebar's title is a take on the classic art book "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way."

p. 32 Speaking of Marvel, the title of the Guardian Boon "I Say Thee Nay!" is an example of one of the many badass things that version of Thor says when he's facing a monster, told to give up, etc...

p. 32 Fast as Thought is a reference to a story where a servant of Thor races a creature that ends up being Thought. He loses but "Nearly as Fast as Thought, but still not good enough" wasn't a very good title.

p. 34 Fight With Your Head was inspired directly by the duel scene in the 13th Warrior in which Hergar the Joyous uses misdirection, tactics, and trickery. I won't say more except for fear of spoilers other than to recommend the film highly.

p. 46 The Sword of Atli's tale about the god Mars and all that is really true. Attila did claim such things about his sword and he was included as a character in the Volsung Saga.

p. 57 Frigg actually has eleven attendants in Norse myth. The idea that many of them are actually her was done to give the goddess a bit more "screen time" and provide a twist to the character that's still in keeping with the spirit of the myths.

p. 64 the Sidebar here references the fact that in Marvel Comics, Sif is a major character compared to many other Aesir, but she's also raven-haired instead of blonde.

p. 67 I own a pair of boots that are very much like the one's described as belonging to Vidar. They are the inspiration for the god's modernized footwear.

p. 76 Magni and Modi in this book are designed to very much be the "odd couple" or "brothers who are really nothing alike." Thus Magni, the strongest, is a jock. Modi, full of anger and fury, is a badass punk.

P. 78 Skirnir is an actual character from myth, but his modern "big guy with lots of kids" is partially inspired by Marvel Comics character of Volstagg, who doesn't appear in the myths and thus is absent in all other ways outside this little nod.

p. 80 Thrud's baseball bat Underbarn, translates roughly into "Wonder Boy". Which is what the character of Roy Hobbs special bat is called in the book and novel the Natural. I can't recall if the name is carved into the bat in the book, but it is in the film and thus Thrud's Underbarn also shares this trait.

p. 87 Vali was transformed into a modern rich kid and female to take the character and make her a "Vali Girl" which I admit is a terrible pun.

p. 95-96 The inclusion of The Great Hall was mostly inspired by my own visits to see Ruatepupuke, which is presented in that section as well. The tradition and sense of importance of the meeting house, which you can actually enter if you visit the Field Museum, needs to be experienced to truly appreciate it.

p. 96 Likewise, the Great Mound is mostly included/inspired by my own trip to the Cahokia Mounds and my own long standing interest in the Great Serpent Mound.

p. 99 Though I can take credit for melding the Jersey Devil and the story of Beowulf together I have to give a nod to Neil Gaiman for sparking the idea with his wonderful American Gods novella The Monarch of the Glen, which modernizes the tale of Beowulf and locates it in northern UK. The name of the mayor of Leeds Point (not be confused with any actual modern Jersey towns or locales of the same name) is a play on Beowulf's Rothgar.

p 100 the locations for the Scion versions of Tiny Towns corresponds to actual places where settlements of little people have existed at one point or another in history.

p. 105 The title of the story seed is taken from an episode of MASH. In that episode the whole camp (MASH, not Eggther's) reads a mystery called "The Rooster Crowed at Midnight" only to find that the last few pages are missing- thus leaving the mystery open and unsolved.

p 115 The tragic and somewhat sympathetic nature of Fenris discussed in the sidebar is based on my personal fatigue at the "evil wolf" archetype in myth. Too often "wolf= bad" and from MMOs to modern day ranchers panicking we've driven these intelligent and sensible creatures all but out of our world. The options in the God adventure regarding Fenris are also inspired by this.

p. 123 I wrote the section on the Storrvurm immediately after watching an episode of Destination Truth that involved investigating rumors of a giant serpent in a Scandanavian lake. They didn't find it.

p. 128 The Erl King was a late addition because two pages of my copy of Demigod had been stuck together and I hadn't noticed. On those pages were the monster I originally statted and included. Thus I did the Erl King instead. He is a figure from myth but my chief reason for including him was his appearance in an excellent short story by author John Connolly also called The Erl King. The story appears in the book Nocturnes, which I recommend highly. The artist for that section managed to pluck my image of the creature right out of my head, btw. I kinda wonder if we read the same story.

p. 204+ The general make up of the "talk Fenris out of Ragnarok" part of this adventure, as it was pointed out to me after I did it, was inspired by an episode of MASH. In that episode (For Want of a Boot) Hawkeye and Trapper go through a complex series of increasingly strange favor trades and errands to try and get new boots during a bad winter. I probably should have called that section "For Want of a Wolf" in fact.

p. 204 Title of the section an obvious Little Red Riding Hood reference

p. 206 And this one is Shakespeare's play MacBeth

p. 207 And the old TV show Mission Impossible (not the movies because Jim Phelps is not a bad guy, dammit!), changed because nothing should be impossible in Scion (IMO, naturally)

p. 209 And the film Ice Station Zebra.

p 212 Sidebar title is a reference to the film the Fifth Element

p. 212 The title Now All We Have to Do is Survive Ragnarok was taken from what I could imagine a character I was playing would say if I was in the adventure I was writing. It just popped in my head and then had to be the title of that section.

p. 213 the Title of Act Two is taken from a phrase the character of Uncle in the cartoon Jackie Chan Adevntures uses repeatedly to add conditions and information to an already complex or tense situation. It was that or "And Then...?" which would have been a reference to Dude, Where's My Car?

p. 214 Though Loki's toast and mockery is from myth, the section about it is titled after the Simpson's Comic Book Guy "Worst. Episode. Ever" quote.

p. 225 Obvious Pirates of the Carribean reference. Not 100 percent sure that's mine as I reworked some earlier work from another writer from that section but if it's not it's only because it was already there when I got to it.

That's it for now. Maybe I'll do this for other books if there's interest.

So Yesterday Sucked...

2009-05-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was, or should I say would have been my anniversary.

So what happened? Well, I lost a contract job and spent the rest of the day feeling pissed and mildly ill.

Meh.

Apparently there's some cosmic rule that my luck can never actually get too good for more than a few days. Which is a shame, because the weekend was a lot of fun and then Monday came on like a crazy knife wielding Bond villain.

In the end losing the job wasn't a total loss because it was a sucky job with a project coordinator who was so off-putting I was actually a bit taken aback by her staggering lack of charisma. Still, I could have used some extra cash.

In Which I Lament My Lack of Artist Friends...

2009-03-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

So I have a new idea and I think it's a good one. But here's the thing:

While this will make a good story it would make an awesome comic.

But unfortunately I don't know any artists of comic style and caliber to work on this thing with me. I know a few folks from back in the day who did some art, but for various reasons they aren't good choices now. And so...bleah.

Still, it's a good idea nonetheless.

Not Much Going On But...

2009-03-15T21:59:00.001-07:00

I haven't written on this thing in awhile and I felt I should.

So yeah...not much going on. PC died, bought a PS3. Saw Watchmen. It was excellent.

And...yeah.

Maybe I'll work up something deep or contemplative later.

Ragnarok Has Come!

2009-01-22T00:43:00.000-08:00

Well not for me yet, still waiting on Fedex, but the book I worked on, Scion: Ragnarok is now in stores. It's nifty and cool and people should buys tons of it so White Wolf does more Scion stuff and maybe I'll get to write that too.

Happy Holidays and all that crap...

2008-12-28T20:38:00.001-08:00

Despite the title, my holidays have been pretty good. Made my New Year's resolutions early and plan on sticking to them. Might be having a party for New Years but I admit the more I look around my apartment the more daunting that looks.

Need to get back to my novel and/or finish up some of my short stories. Haven't been feeling the writing much, however. Hopefully that will change soonish. Also hope work picks up, but then this time of year is always slow for law.

Not much else of note going on.

Long Time...No Blog

2008-12-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

So been awhile but I'm back.

And damn is it freakin' cold outside. I mean it is terrible cold. This cold is a killing word. I saw two frost giants and a penguin packing their shit and moving south.

Anyhoo. So not a ton going on. Temporarily done with all writing projects and waiting to see what else develops there. Work is a wee bit slow. That said I'm being a bit more social...which is good.

Not much else to add right now, but I hope to writer here a wee bit more often over time.

More Cool Stuff...

2008-09-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy. New writing gig (yes, again). Starting up a law firm (yes, still), but I figured I'd throw out some stuff that's been keeping me smiling through this stuff.

1) new Star Wars Saga Rpg Products (rpg)

Both the Force Unleashed and Knights of the Old Republic sourcebooks for this game are very very good. I kinda thought the Force Unleashed might not be as good (based as it is on a just video game and not a video game and a bunch of cool comics like KOTOR) but honestly they are both really great. Lots of nifty Talents, Feats, and a few cool Prestige classes but not the crazy glut of them we've seen with other d20 games.

2) Legend of the Burning Sands (rpg)

Good solid Arabian fantasy themed rpg from AEG. Fun, easy to grok rules, and it allowed me to get my "I want to make a Howard-eqsue character" groove on.

3) Vade Macum: the Cthulhutech Companion (rpg)

If you don't own Cthulhutech...go get it. If you do, go get this book. It's wonderfully done, beautifully illustrated, and has all sorts of cool stuff for a Ctech game. Don't let the relatively think book fool you...they is crammed full of neat and useful stuff. It's lean, mean, and ready to fight the Old Ones from the cockpit of the giant biomechanical war machine.

4) Sons of Anarchy (TV)

So far the best new show of the season. It's one of these "this is about a family/group of people and stuff happens" shows except this time it's a biker gane who runs guns in a small town. And it's totally fantastic. Great actors help this intriguing concept along, including geek favorite and damned talented thespian Ron Perlman.

5) Rock Band 2

More of the same in a totally good way. Being able to make stand-ins for my band and play with my band online goes a long way to making this game even more fun than the first one. Also, my favorite Dylan song is on it, plus great tracks by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Billy Idol (loves me some White Wedding), Elvis Costello, Social Distortion, and many more.

There's more, but that's it for now. Later.

So Moved In...

2008-08-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

And back from a little vacation. Need to get back to writing but before I do let me recommend a few nifty things I've been enjoying recently. I'm going to skip the obvious awesome (Dark Knight, and in fact all the awesome big movies this summer) and move on to other things:

1) Pandora.com (Website/Music)
Free design your own radio. I'd like to thank Kevin Mowery for turning me onto this. Check it out, it makes great fodder for designing custom soundtracks from everything from writing sessions/projects to just life in general.

2) Hunter the Vigil (Rpg)
One of the best role playing games to come out of White Wolf publishing in a while (that I didn't write for of course). Great way to play everything from Supernatural to SHIELD v. Monsters.

3) In Bruges (DVD)
Bar none the best UK hitman stranded in Belgium movie ever. More seriously a great flick, like Gross Pointe Blank meets...I dunno, something involving Belgium.

4) Glass Fleet (Anime DVD)
A surprisingly deep and dramatic little anime. It's got swordfights, evil emperors, and some fairly complex characters. Very fun and worth a Netflixing at the very least.

5) Too Human (Xbox 360)
Okay I admit the game's Norse theme is a big hit with a armchair mythologist like myself, but even so I find it a fun game with some really nice incorporation of sci-fi and myth. Also, it further proves that you cannot count on game reviewers to get cultural references (one reviewer I saw was trashing on the games plot points which were clearly lifted straight out of the story of Ragnarök...which is what the game is essentially about.

6) Flogging Molly in concert (Band)
You owe it to yourself to see this band live. No really. That goes for you too.

That's it for now. Other stuff to come.

And so begins...

2008-06-30T01:34:00.000-07:00

The long dark of July. Well, at least tomorrow.

This month I need a new place to live, to pack, to get the law firm started, to finish at least one writing gig, set up new bank accounts, deal with some student loan short term refinancing to help keep costs low for the next few months, and I should probably eat or sleep sometime too.

Moving in particular is going to be a royal pain. I hope to find a place before the end of the month so I can start moving stuff early. I also hope to find something with a decent amount of space and at least a few luxuries to keep housework a bit easier when I'm not working (dishwasher, washer/dryer, and so on). Probably need to contact some sort of apartment hunting service to help with that.

So yeah...gonna be busy. Whoopee.

So With the New Version of D&D out...

2008-06-18T03:01:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know the new version of ye olde roleplaying game Dungeons and Dragons is out. It's pretty cool, but for me fits firmly in the "would gladly play but probably wouldn't run" category.

Still, it's neat and has some cool stuff and heck, maybe I would run a game sometime.

But with the hot new rpg out on the market and a flurry of commentary and comments around the net about it I am reminded of my least favorite thing about gaming.

Gamers.

Not my friends. They are awesome gamers...at least those who game (which if we count video games is all of them). Not that guy looking at the new D&D Player's Handbook in the local B&N...he's probably okay.

No, I'm talking about the gamer equivalent of the mouthy drunken sports fan. They ones who just can't let everyone else enjoy the game and has to do running commentary on everything while making socially maladjusted asses of themselves. The ones that make a lot of people avoid mentioning they are gamers lest they be associated with such folks.

And it's not like there are more of these folks right now really, they are just talking more. They've been given more to yak about and boy are they yakking.

Which is amazing to me because really, where to do folks find the time? Between freelance writing, working on my novel, starting up a new firm, packing, and everything else I barely have time to read a book or play a game much less go on and on about how much those things suck or how much people who don't like those things suck or whatever.

Seriously, Can I borrow time from these folks somehow? Can someone invent a machine that does this? Please?

Unpleasant Dreams...

2008-06-08T04:26:00.001-07:00

This actually isn't about dreams but more about...well, unsettling occurrences. I have been doing, or so I surmised, fairly well recently despite everything. Not happy, but I'm dealing. Then just now for no discernible reason I was reading over these recent posts about personal stuff and I just got really upset. Upset, sad, and emotional. More so than I have felt in weeks.

And that just drives me crazy not because of the emotion, which is understandable, but by the total suddenness and intensity of it. I mean, how do you deal when you can sum up your mental state as:

"fine, fine, fine, a bit down but okay, fine, fine, almost ready to break down and cry for no discernible reason...wait, back up, what?"

I guess as with so much lately I take comfort or at least feel a bit of kinship in the words of others. In this case Kriss Kristofferson:

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short a' dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning coming down.

As I mentioned earlier...

2008-06-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

I am working on a novel. It's currently slow going due to me working on some paying gigs but it's going and I'm fairly happy with it thusfar.

Last post I gave some background info and some folks seemed to like it so I thought I'd throw in some more. Again this is background...it enables the story I'm telling but isn't the story I'm telling, if that makes sense.

First, the thing that starts it all. With a nod to Wildcards and Rising Stars I have an "event" that makes superhumanly powered individuals show up. Note this is a bit different from DC and Marvel which have multiple source origins for their heroes.

The Tunguska Event

On June 30^th, 1908 at around 7:14 a.m. near the Tunguska River the sky exploded. The energy released was unlikely anything seen my man before that day. Trees at ground zero of the explosion strangely stood upright, their barked stripped clean. Further out the forest lay leveled and scorched for miles. It was an event unlike any seen by the scientists of the day.

And that was only the beginning.

The energies of the Tunguska Event crossed the globe in ripples and waves, invisible and unfelt by the populace. However, these energies left a mark of its passing- the genetic makeup of humanity was irrevocably changed.

But this too, was just the beginning.

A bit clunky and dramatic that. Like a movie trailer or poster blurb, but that was all I was going for.

Next we have some more background on things. Dr. Fine is a character in the novel. His name is a reference to two comic greats: Alex Raymond and Lou Fine. The Footnote included is from the historical document.

One in a Million

Starting with the children born after Tunguska, a new phenomena was observed. While most children were born normal, a very small percentage began to exhibit a variety of exceptional and in some cases truly superhuman abilities. At first these abilities were noteworthy but not earth shattering- child geniuses, exceptionally strong young men and women, and youths able to mastering a variety of skills with apparent ease. Most of these abilities began to exhibit in a child’s teens, though some children exhibited enhanced abilities as young as four or five.

A study of these children conducted begun by geneticist Raymond Fine in 1915 identified several of these children and monitored their abilities. Over three years of study, Fine tested, interviewed, and retested thousands of children who had exhibited a number of extraordinary talents. Some were determined to be merely gifted within the normal human range. However, a smaller percentage exhibited talents and abilities matching or exceeding peak human adult levels. These paranormal or near paranormal talents were usually limited to one or two areas of expertise, though a few individuals displayed mastery over a number of academic disciplines and physical pursuits.

Fine also determined that the percentage of these exceptional children to the rest of the populace was around 0.0001%. This meant that for roughly every million humans there was one of these exceptional children. Fine’s study was generally accepted as an accurate representation of these wunderkind[1] and their abilities, though Fine’s claims that the children’s abilities were tied to an unidentified energy that had mutated human genetics were largely disregarded.

Fine’s study was published in 1918, where it was embraced by a hope starved post War world as proof that a new golden age was dawning. Fine’s few detractors were quickly dismissed when five children from Fine’s study appeared with the doctor during the presentation of his work before the academic community and displayed a number of fascinating abilities.

[1] This term was applied to paranormal children in a 1918 New York Times article on Fine and various children from his research. Within a few months, it had become the default term to refer to paranormally gifted children. The term fell out of favor during WWII due to its association with the Nazi party’s various paranormal youth programs.

Again, none of this writing will show up in the novel itself. It's for me to keep things straight and it keeps changing in little ways. The identity of "Fine's Five", the paranormal children who the Dr. recruits are in flux at the moment and the good doctor himself has already become a psychiatrist and medical doctor instead of a geneticist (though I the stuff I posted hasn't been changed to reflect that and might not be, since that introduction of Fine is written and I don't need to be reminded who he is anymore).

As things continue some of the more powerful characters are going to show up. Note that with one pretty important exception Fine's subjects are not intended to be these characters.

One thing the book does have so far is a name. It's called Titan, which is also the name of one of the characters.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

2008-06-01T03:02:00.000-07:00

Which also has nothing to do with Monty Python.

Started a novel recently. I've written a novel's worth of contracted work for the year so far so I figured hey, why not?

What I'm realizing:

1) This will not be just one novel. At least 3. I hope three...because more than three or so seems excessive in a lot of ways.
2) Despite what I originally suspected I think it's better as a novel and not a comic
3) The multi-character perspective novel is a crazy beast. It keeps growing as I add characters who I like or hate.
4) and this is probably the biggest revelation that sometimes I write things that I have no idea what they are, except I know they are important.

For example, when writing up some background for the setting which may or may not appear in some appendix or something I was writing the following:

War in the Shadows

In reality, while the press and public was deluged with scores of masked heroes and mystery men by the1930s organized crime had beat the forces of law and order to the punch by several years. Not at all squeamish about employing children with bizarre talents in a variety of criminal enterprises, various syndicates and gangs built powerful criminal empires before adult wunderkind and their non-powered allies rose to challenge them. Criminals like the Face, Headsman, and the Little Dutch Boy were working making the streets safe for crime, corruption, and graft for years before the forces of law and order had any notable superhuman allies. By the 30s, many of these now adult criminals were running their own gangs or were infamous freelancers charging a small fortune to work as assassins, enforcers, and muscles for various outfits.

Note the bolded names. I have NO IDEA who these guys are. None. Especially the Little Dutch Boy. But as I was writing he demanded to be put in my work. I'm still not sure of his real name, or his physical appearance or what crazy abilities he has which has earned him that nickname. I know he's a gangster of Dutch/German origin...but that's it. Note that this whole section doesn't even really relate to any of the main characters as far as I can tell right now. It's just background stuff about some crazy pulp mystery men things going on in the setting. But while writing it a character created itself out of the crazy stuff in my head and demanded to be included in the book, at least in some form. The Face? He might not make it. He seems less concrete and sometimes is replaced in my mental rewriting with some fuzzy names and concepts that haven't quite taken solid form.

Another example from a footnote in my setting stuff:

The bulletproof Robert Baker a.k.a. the Untouchable was recruited in 1927 by J. Edgar Hoover. Within a year, Baker was leading a team of four other costumed adventurers the press dubbed “the Gangbusters.” The other four members were Damien Price, Leonard O’Malley, Vincent Stone, and Frank Nestor.

I have no idea what any of these guys can do but here they are. But I knew their names right away (still not sure if they have aliases). Except for Damien might change. Maybe to Darren or something. I also know at least two of these guys die messy bloody deaths...but I don't know how.

So it's a funny process and a funny thing...sometimes what you write isn't really under your conscious control. And again, this isn't even the character or story I'm telling. These guys are mostly in the background, but they screaming at me from the bleachers to make them cooler and in some cases make them at all.

Funny old world.

In Retrospect...

2008-05-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

I probably revealed a bit too much about my current situation in my last entry. However, I'm going to let it stand because while perhaps a bit much, it was all accurate and true to my feelings at the time. Removing it would feel too much like trying to hide those feelings and trying to hide from myself.

Which won't work...I look in the mirror and I'm right there.

In the the Hour of the Wolf

2008-05-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure anyone who read the entry below this one or who knows me knows that my marriage of 6 years is over.

It ended in a trip to the psychiatric ward (hers), infidelity (hers), and calling it off after a few weeks of intensive therapy for a previously untreated mental condition (again...hers).

And man let me tell you that makes me feel pretty crappy.

Because on the one hand, she was sick and unhappy. I understand that. There were problems that had been coming and going, up and down over the past year and they weren't getting better very quickly or at all (though we were in counseling for that).

On the other, she cheated on me and lied to me about it and at least once when pressed acted like this was no big deal...like it was the only thing I was focusing on because everything else was my fault or horribly broken and all I had was this, and I quote, "so what?" issue of cheating. Now sure, she has since retracted and apologized for that...but man, that hurt. It still hurts. it may always hurt, at least a little bit.

Not helping this is that she revealed the cheating after trying to push our doctor to give the thumbs up on a separation (I and I believe he were, to say the least, a bit blindsided). She also revealed this in two parts- once at the beginning of a discussion and then with additional details as I was angrily walking off to collect my thoughts and try to figure out what came next. Despite this when she checked herself into the ward I was there every day she except for two ( The first because visiting hours were over before I knew she'd been admitted and one Sunday which she told me take off because I'd been there every day...and that was a the day the guy she was cheating on me with came to visit). I was angry, pissed, and hurt but she was sick and she needed me. And so there I was. I told her stories and brought her things to make her feel better, less alone, and tried my best to deal with it. In the end she went into therapy elsewhere and then called it off a few weeks later after we had a few fights and a few decent conversations (at least one of the fights was largely about her repeatedly talking to the guy she cheated on me with).

So I have this conflicting war going on between two internal selves. One wants to, even though things didn't work out, be cool about it and give her space to fix her own problems and all that. Despite the last year or so and despite recent pains I'm trying to be understanding and as cool as I can.

The other feels betrayed, hurt, and generally like crap. I feel used. I feel...hollow. And yet I also feel angry. Angry at her, angry at the world. Angry at myself for being too "cool" with her "I just wanted some new friends, there's nothing weird going on with this guy" assurances and angry for some mistakes I made along the way that spiraled into huge issues that I admit I'm kinda angry that we never got to try and fix...in part because I'm starting to feel like as soon as they popped up she really stopped trying.

So I'm hurt, angry, and generally not a happy camper. Nothing really helps with this...though a number of things delay or diffuse some feelings for a time. All my friends of course want me to be okay, and I love them for it. But I'm not okay and I'm not sure how long it will take before I feel "okay."

The best I'm doing now is "okay enough to get up and face another day...such as it is."

Which I guess is better than the alternative.

But I was tired of dancing around the reasons, feelings, and issues and hence this post. It's probably more info than is customarily proper to post online but at this exact point I'm not too bothered by that detail. Partly because there are some folks who I don't talk to much due to space and opportunity that I like and enjoy interacting with who I'm sure are at least a wee bit curious about a few things and partly because I needed to talk more about this and nobody was around.

Which leads me to the worst part. The nobody being around. I look at the bed and think "we'll never sleep in the bed together again" I read a book and think "Oh I need to talk to her about this when she...oh wait." I have good news and a part of me wants to share it with her and another part is hurt that I still want to despite the fracturing of trust.

Most of the time I feel an odd mix of lonely and numb and I'm not sure when that's going to go away. Probably not for awhile and I'm not too happy with its company.

I was recently watching the old sci fi TV show Babylon 5 and there's a bit where they talk about "The Hour of the Wolf" And how it's that time between night and dawn where you feel alone, lost, and so on. And it's about that time now...which might have something to do with how I'm feeling. The Scandinavians used to believe it was when most people died and when the souls of the dead and demons would haunt man. And I feel that way now...haunted. Which I suppose might be part of it- some deep racial memory or something from some forgotten Viking ancestor pinging at the edge of my mind.

And I'd almost believe that. Except I feel that way a lot more between night and dawn.

So that's it...

2008-05-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm getting divorced.

Yeah.

So other than that my day sucked.

Now for Something Positive.

2008-05-23T12:07:00.001-07:00

The new Indiana Jones film is really good. Go see it.

Though it reminds me of something I'd forgotten: I don't like dealing with most geeks when it comes to films I like. Too much nitpicking, too many spoilers, and waaaayyyy too much negativity.

As I get older, and I know this is crazy, I want to see a trailer or two, go to the film, watch it, and react to it. I don't want to fume about George Lucas and Episode I when I watch an Indy film. I don't want to listen how a movie sucked because it didn't match the magical film in someone's head. I just want to watch my film, play my game, read my comic, and have fun.

And as thing go from bad to worse...

2008-05-15T03:22:00.000-07:00

So last night was a rough one.

Really rough.

I got blamed for a lot of things during that night, few of which I feel I am wholly to blame for...some of which I feel I am not at all to blame for. The one thing I know I'm not to blame for but which hurt me the most I was informed was of the "so what?" category (as in "I did this thing that really hurt you...so what?" even if that wasn't the exact wording that was truly the message sent to me).

And now I find myself asking again...do I want to be here?

Well, no...that's part of having a crappy time of it - you obviously don't want to be where you are. But beyond that I am now asking how do I not want to be here? What of the things in my life I currently have here do I want to take with me to whatever presumably less sucky place I'm trying to head for? Which people, objects, places, lessons learned, and so on do I want to be what I have to show for these recent times of sour milk and rancid honey when I look back on it?

It's a tough question. Made tougher still by being made a target of someone else's negativity and being labeled the cause of someone else's problems. Not that such a thing happened to me yesterday or anything...just that it would really stink if it did.

Back to something, if not normal...

2008-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

So the last few weeks...hoo boy. Lot of drama, lot of problems, lot of...stuff. Much of it pretty personal, some of it less so, but all too much at once and I found myself a wee bit overloaded.

But after a day or three off I'm a bit more settled than I was. Still dealing with a lot of stuff but my head's a bit more grounded about it. Doesn't mean I'm sure what I'm gonna do about any one particular thing or another, but at least I'm feeling a bit more capable of making those decisions.

But yeah...fun year. Really. And yes Virginia, that was sarcasm.

Its Been the Worst Day Since Last Wednesday.

2008-05-05T13:21:00.001-07:00

Some people reading this may know that my wife is in the hospital with some problems. And quite honestly its been taking a real toll on me as well.

Today I was told by my wife she didn't want to see me anymore because I wouldn't "help" her. I realize she almost certainly didn't mean it but the end result was still difficult, jarring, and overall crappy.

I'm not going into any other details but let me just say I firmly believe that the "help" she wanted was totally counteractive to her getting better. Totally. Hey, maybe I'm wrong about that but it's what I believe.

She just called to inform me that since I won't "help" her she's going to get her parents to do it and to once again accuse me of not helping her. Hopefully they will make sound judgment on the matter and not just believe what she says. I guess I should count myself lucky she didn't go so far as to say I don't care about her or anything, but it still has me feeling pretty low.

In any event I feel crappy. Horrible, hurt (mentally mostly, though punching the fireplace in frustration stung a bit), and all manner of other problems. More than any of that, I don't feel like I have any control of what is going on. And it sucks.

So why am I writing this? Well, because I need to tell someone currently nobody else is around. Also, maybe, just maybe if someone is reading this and has ever had to make a decision like that I wanted to let folks know...hey, it happens to more than just you.

Now if you excuse me, I think I'm going to go lie down for awhile. Or maybe find a quiet corner and just reflect.

Now I'm All Jittery...

2008-04-09T00:50:00.000-07:00

Just finished the first draft of another project and I find myself all...jittery.

It's kinda weird after most of the year having a project THAT MUST BE DONE ASAP AAAAAAA!!!!!!!! to have a short break.

Sadly, I was technically a day and half late with this one, but part of the reason for that was my using a week or so of my time finishing another rush job. And I have no doubt I'll be on time or early with the edits, as I turned in some of the stuff early for this one and already know what I need to change.

And the guy in charge of the whole thing (whose name I withhold since that pretty much spills what the still under NDA project is) paid me a very nice compliment about one of my sections. He said it gave a better explanation of the "hows and whys" of the topic at hand than he had seen before.

It's those little things that really make this sort of work fun. Harrowing at times, but fun.

So anyhoo...

2008-04-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

Been busy with writing and a bunch of other stuff but have had the chance to enjoy two things which I pass on to anyone reading:

a) Doomsday (film)
Did you like Dog Soldiers? Descent? Do you like Mad Max? Escape from NY? Would you like to see the maker of Dog Soldiers and Descent do his version of Mad Max and Escape from NY? Me too. That's why I went to see Doomsday. This film is likely to be criminally misunderstood and under appreciated, like a post-apocalyptic version of Slither or Shoot 'Em Up. It is one of the few films I feel comfortable saying that if you didn't at least like it a bit...you didn't get it.

b) The Blade Itself (book)
Very fun new fantasy series written by newcomer Joe Abercrombie. For one thing, this book has the best wizard ever and I'm not usually a huge fan of the wize old wizard character. It also has one of the top 5 barbarian characters ever. Logen Ninefingers might not beat out Conan or Kull, but he's a contender.

So a while back...

2008-03-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

I mentioned a guy named RPGPundit who seems to think he's a treasure of gaming knowledge and is involved in some sort of "war against the swine" where swine are people who like make believe enablers like role playing games he doesn't. He's a venom filled little moron who has managed to make himself a bit popular in some circles in the oldest and easiest way possible...by shitting on other people all the while claiming he's the one being attacked. In this case his attackers are people who like to play pretend in ways he doesn't and the people who make a really meager buck writing games in those styles.

No really, such folks exist...and no I don't get it either. It's like there are rich white people who really think they are oppressed by illegal immigrants and poor people. This is like that, except with role playing games...which makes it terribly fucking sad.

So anyway, I was directed recently to another blog post of this guys' where he writes a whole blog entry about some guy from the rpg game site rpg.net who calls himself Spinach Baron (hey, some people juggle geese) and his comment about bad game mastering. Again, not linking to it because he wants attention and this is more about my own musings. You can, naturally, Google him up to read his comments about mostly what's "wrong" with gaming, but other weird things like how awesome freemasons are and even dating (more on that later).

In this particular entry, he calls this Spinach-loving guy names for basically saying that a rpg Game Master (the guy who runs the game in a pen and paper roleplaying game like Dungeons and Dragons) who adhere to "power for power's sake" is a bad GM no matter how skilled.

Now I'm not sure I agree with that myself. I tend to believe that power hungry people tend to be poor at their chosen tasks because they let power lust get in the way and the pettier the field the worse they are. However, I can entertain a person who loves the mostly silly rush of power you get from controlling an rpg for a group of people and is good at doing so despite the rather silly motivation.

Still, I don't begrudge the guy his opinion. Even if I don't completely share it. Especially not on a little thread on a message board that is a whole 3 pages long.

I certainly didn't feel the need to call him an asswipe because he doesn't share my opinion.

Apparently, that's not what you do if you are a rpg pundit. Excuse me, the RPGPundit. No, if you are you write a bunch of words about what the real deal and right way is. However, you start with calling the guy who said what you don't agree with an asswipe.

Now why would someone do that? I dunno. I'm guessing because you're a expatriate rebel with a devil may care attitude. One who has, I shit you not, a girlfriend who lives in Canada.

Seriously, this guy and his tirades are a joke right? The Avenue Q reference was the tip off, right? Silly gamers don't really sit around cafes in South America smoking pipes with their freemason rings and their laptops firing off hate filled comments about two sentences on a message board and call it a war, right?

Right? Right? Can you hear me in the back?

Sigh. Sadly, I think I know the answer. Or at least I know the question. The answer is a zombie apocalypse.

New Job...maybe

2008-02-10T05:33:00.000-08:00

Had an interview yesterday and will be going in again on Tues. Not the precise field of law I want to work in forever necessarily but it looks to be good experience and a step up from what I'm doing currently. The office environment seems nice and the head of the firm seems like a decent guy, even if a few of his questions were odd.

Course I suspect he was trying to "throw me off" to see how I'd respond, which I can understand if that was the case. Either that or it was just his general demeanor and I wasn't used to it, but it was nothing that really bothered me beyong a subtly raised eyebrow.

And Done...Again!

2008-02-07T16:24:00.001-08:00

The additional writing gig I got from my earlier one is done. I had a bit of writer's block at the end but I got through it thanks to Atilla the Hun.

And no, I'm not gonna explain that...just trust me.

Now to take a short break. I have an interview on Saturday for an attorney position. I figure after that I'll dive back into writing. I still have a backlog of "to do" stuff writing wise and it keeps me from getting bothered about other things that have been weighing on my mind of late...much.

I'm also considereding volunteering for Obama's campaign. I'm not too keen on stuffing envelopes or whatever, but if they had a place for someone with my skills I would gladly volunteer some time.

Back in the Fray...

2008-01-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

So I got another short bit of emergency writing to get done. It's actually for the last project I finished earlier this month. They had someone not be able to finish some parts and I had the time to fill in.

Again, can't say a ton about it right now but I will say this: It's nice to be involved with expanding on a game a bought, played, and enjoyed because it gives me a chance to add some of the things that I know various fans have wanted. In fact, I can say with some degree of confidence that if the amount of spiffy new content doesn't satisfy the people then nothing is gonna make you whiny bitches happy.

Kidding, kidding. Nothing but love for ya, folks.

Well, okay not totally. But there's a lot of cool stuff in the book.

I still need to get another small press project going more than it is now. I have some ideas, but I've stalled a bit on the execution. Still, it's kinda nice to be able to procrastinate something by actually working on something else.

For Meh to Angry in 6 days...

2008-01-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

So I have passed my stage of meh and now have achieved a state of perpetual irritation.

Not really sure that's an improvement.

And yeah, I have reasons for being angry and no, I'm not going to share them. It seems...I dunno, gauche or something.

And no, the reasons don't equate to the actual level of anger I'm feeling, or at least the persistent nature of it. However, that doesn't mean I don't think the reasons are valid.

Here's a hint to getting along, folks...consideration. Think of what others might want, how they might react, and so on. So much anger in our society is not I think intentionally sought by those who make us angry...they just don't think about it.

And for god's sake when someone tells you they're upset or angry...try and make it up to them if you want them to feel you value them and their relationship with you. If they wanted to go to that show you didn't bother to ask you to and you really should have known better then bring them back a program, autograph, or something. Or spring for tickets next time its in town or whatever. It's a nice way tangible to say "Hey, despite me totally not thinking of you in that case I am now."

Especially if the person you've ticked off tends to do the same for you. Because as someone currently fighting a tide of negativity let me just say those little things actually matter. And not doing those things actually help piss already irritable people off more.

But I've probably said more than I should on the matter, despite keeping names and all out of it. And I'd feel bad about what I've said so far...except well, I'm angry.

The Worst Day Since Yesterday...

2008-01-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

So still with the meh. I need to do something to break myself of this, but I am unsure as to what.

Basically I feel like a guy channel surfing and finding not only nothing good on, but just enough fake news crap and high handed religious programming to actually irritate him besides.

Which is no good.

Miranda's going out of town this weekend. Which is I suppose both good and bad. Good because she really wants a vacation and I could probably use some time to get some stuff done. Bad because she'll be gone and quite honestly I'm not sure I'll actually get anything done.

Man, I hate this.

I'm reasonably sure I'm actually depressed...as in if I went a specialist he'd say "Yeah, you're depressed." Which is not only a relatively rare state for me but since I'm also reasonably unsure how I got here I'm not sure how to get out.

So yeah...sucktastic.

One the Down Low

2008-01-16T01:11:00.000-08:00

Kinda...meh.

Not sure why. I think it's due to me being done with a big project but lacking the motivation to start another right now.

Also, contract attorney work blows. No really, it just blows. At least around here. It is so erratic the sizeable pay rate doesn't mean as much as it should and now that the holidays and my writing gig are over I am totally reminded of this. And given Chi-towns immense well of corruption and crap I find myself losing out on other jobs for no other reason than I don't have the right names and connections. So yeah...I'm kinda down on work stuff in general right now. I'm sure it will pass but for now at least I'm more than a wee bit annoyed/bummed.

Somewhere along the way I hit my mid 30s and I'm looking at a place I don't want to be in doing things around people and places I'd rather not and it's kinda uncool. Mostly the stress my current situation has created on myself, my relationships, and my general well being is getting mighty tiring. And remember, I as a rule hate those bitching "oh my life is so hard, wah!" Type blog posts. So it is not completely without irony that I write this.

But I am just having that right combination of bad days and crappy luck and whatever of late to kinda not give a damn about the hyppocrisy of this as much as I otherwise might. If anything, given 2007 taken as an aggregate I kinda feel entitled to a wee bit of disatisfaction.

Still, I don't like. No sir. Probably because it doesn't do much good. My friends will just feel bad for me and any enemies actually reading this (seems unlikely but hey ya never know) will just get an undeserved boost in knowing that I'm feeling off.

So yeah...where was I? Oh yeah,Meh.

Miss Thine Deadlines? I Say Thee Nay!

2008-01-06T22:38:00.000-08:00

So I finished the first big project of the New Year. Hopefully it will be one of many.

And for those wondering, the picture above is totally a hint about what it was, as well as strangely appropriate for this blog given its title. Which is also appropriate for what the project was and...oh my I've gone crosseyed.

And no, sadly I am not taking over JMS' writing duties on Thor (which is okay since his run has been great).

So on the eve of Obama's Win...

2008-01-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

I still have a lot of writing to get done.

But damn am I happy Barack won the primary. And in honor of him, it, and my crazy warrior code work ethic of late:

I am the stone that the builder refused
I am the visual, the inspiration
That made Lady Sing the Blues...

I'm the spark that makes your idea bright
The same spark that lights the dark
So that you can know your left from your right...

I am the ballot in the box, the bullet in the gun
The innerglow that lets you know
To call your brother sun...

The story that just begun
The promise of what's to come
And I'll a remain a soldier 'til the war is won

Now back to work.

Busy Little Bee...

2007-12-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

So with the holidays almost over I'm once again throwing myself into some writing I need to get finished. Some of it is personal, stuff I want to finish and submit. Other is paid work, including some work for a few role-playing game companies, one of them fairly major.

I can't/shouldn't talk much more about it now, NDAs and all, but it looks to be some fun stuff and I hope people like it when it is finished.

Any Year You Can Walk Away From...

2007-12-18T04:05:00.000-08:00

So a year older and all that.

Didn't notice it much this time around as I am busy busy with a new writing project I can't speak on much right now. I'm fairly excited about it though and hope to have it done by it's rather quickly approaching deadline.

As such, not gonna make a huge post here.

Some neat stuff for folks to check out:

Video Games: Mass Effect, Call of Duty 4. Both totally different, both totally great.

Books: The Kris Longknife series by Mike Shepard. Fun little sci-fi series.

Comics: Dwayne MacDuffie's JLA

Movies: The Golden Compass was fun. Beowulf was worth seeing, especially in IMAX 3D. Looking forward to Cloverfield.

Pen and Paper Games: Cthulutech. Totally fun and fantastic. Well worth the cost.

So it's Been Awhile...

2007-09-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

Been busy with a bunch of other things.

Also been on rpg.net a bit more of late. Took a long break from there but I decided to give it another go. Overall it's okay but I was sadly exposed to something I wish I could undo.

There used to be the guy on rpg.net who called himself Nisarg. I don't remember much about this guy I admit....he went on my ignore list for being a pissy gamer and eventually got banned for being a pissy gamer. Gone, forgotten, and so on.

So thanks to unfortunate linkage...which I am not gonna inflict on folks here because wouldn't that just be hypocritical as all hell I was exposed to this guy again under the name RPGPundit.

Now setting aside for a moment that "pundit" to me is a term almost completely associated with "God I am so fucking sad" -In fact I think that's definition #3 in Oxford's- I was totally unsurprised and yet strangely annoyed to find out this guy is doing the internet rounds being a...? Can we guess? Look up two paragraphs. Yep, that's right he's being a pissy gamer. Somewhere along the line the hate=cool thing has come full circle again and I was inadvertantly exposed to craptastic illogical bitching about how rpg. net is full of horrible people, all your favorite games are crap, and he's being persecuted because he's telling the truth.

Nice thing is, this is my blog. I can say whatever the fuck I want and then some. I can express my opinion and it's not opression or censorship...it is free expression.

And my free expression is that is a load of crap. Total and utter fuckin' crap. This dude's a pissy gamer who says things like (and I quote):

So suddenly, we've got the Swine on the defensive.

So yeah, let's parse this out shall we? "Swine" and "defensive" are the two words which really stick out here. Elsewhere he talks about "The war against the swine." This motherfucker thinks he's in some sort of war with the Swine...which as far as I can tell are gamers who don't think like him and whose work he doesn't like.

How motherfucking sad is that? I mean really. What's worse, he's got the goddamned gall to throw a picture of Mark Twain, Samuel Langhorn Fucking Clemens up on his blog as if he's some sort of cigar smoking wisedom spouting American treasure.

I mean I guess it takes all kinds? Annoying kinds, stupid kinds, and overblown delusional kinds.

Seriously, folks, wake up call here...we're talking about role playing games. Make believe fantasy play time with magic ponies and spaceships. That you're even comparing it to war or equating your "opponents" to some enemy like they're the Hun or some crap because they don't agree with you is just fucking sad.

Really fucking sad. Terribly, dead baby on the train tracks in the rain fucking sad. Mutilated puppy being eaten alive by flies fucking sad. And yes, 35 year old gamer virgin with poor social skills and internet access fucking sad.* I mean really, isn't there a serum people can take to fix them when they act like this?

And yeah, folks like this have a right to talk. They can say whatever nasty doucebag thing pops into their heads. It's America, go nuts.

But when you do that know that Mark Twain and a lot of other folks hate you. Or at least we grow weary of being reminded you exist. And that's not because you're too raw or real or whatever bullshit you delude yourself with when you're angry and alone and working out self-loathing and displeasure with your lot in life. No, that's because you're so damned tedious that those people with real problems think your "war against the swine" is so pointless and sad that it's nearly infuriating in its outrageousness. And some of us tend to think it's kinda fair to fight "Swine" with "Oh come the fuck on, doofus!" Especially if we're sick of this kind of crap.

Or in the very least it's fun to bitch about these sad bastards as much as they do so about others and with similar base commentary. Because let's be honest, for many of us it's not the "Oh I got to 'em" kind of hate that trolls and rabble rousers want. It's the largely bemused, smile on my face as I type this "God I hate people like that...oh wait I need another glass of tea" type of reaction. They are an afterthought at best. It's just they are an unplesant afterthought I'd rather read an obit for than some proclamation of "how the war goes" report. And this goes double when the war involves twelve sided dice and copies of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.

But still, I won't call these annoying, mouthy freakjobs "swine." Because that's just rude.

So now, rpg.netters who actually click on links and blogs in sigs and all that...we have our dissenting viewpoint from the far too common "Man Nisarg/RpgPundit is fucking awesome! He tells it like it is!" comments I've seen in a few other such arenas. For everyone else, you just got to read me make fun of some guy who thinks he's a riverboat pilot on the great gunship Swinekiller.

You're welcome.

* To be fair I have no idea how old these people are.

Plus I Have a Headache

2007-05-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

So the weird thing about having a 70 hour a week job where you spend a lot of time waiting for stuff to come in is that despite the fact that you could use the time to work on the 30 or so story ideas you have...you don't.

Why? I think it's because for me writing, at least at its initial stages is a fairly private thing. I want/need a few minutes alone to work the stuff out and I can't have folks looking at me like I'm crazy when I get up and start talking out dialogue to see how it sounds.

So yeah, I guess more ideas and less execution for awhile longer.

Still, Chicago is full of awesome real life story bits. For example just a few weeks ago I saw a guy in a wheelchair with new expensive shoes. Now of course these things looked new, he never gets to use them. But they were very nice and very expensive and it got me thinking...why bother? Were they a gift? Were they actually not that expensive but the pristine shine of unuse made them seem so? And then...bam! You catch the morning scent of washed and perfumed bodies piling out of a train on a Monday and realize that collectively its actually almost nauseating and viola...new idea.

Been Awhile...

2007-04-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Taking a day off from my usual 13+ hour work day (which admittedly includes the commute) to write up a little something.

Not much, since my day off was largely made necessary by a migraine. So instead of a long rambling article about something I'm going to throw out random thoughts which are probably a lot more akin to what most blogs actually have in them.

1) Marvel's Civil War, taken as a whole, sucked.

2) 300 was a good movie. Not great, but fun, and visually impressive.

3) Good anime seems to have come around again in the form of Fate/Stay Night, Chevalier D'Eon, Coyote Ragtime, and Ergo Proxy.

4) The Dresden Files books and TV show are pretty cool. In some ways I like the latter better, in others the former.

5) God of War II and Company of Heroes are great video games.

6) Tamara Siler Jones' Dubric the Castellan series is one of the best fantasy series I've stumbled upon. All of them are availiable in paperback and all of them are more than worth the time and money. Ghosts in the Snow is the first book if I recall correctly.

7) I certainly hope White Wolf's new game Scion is as good as it looks. I could use a new rpg and I think WW could use a new hit.

8) Justice League Unlimited's final season just hit DVD. What a great show. Also Ben 10's first season has hit DVD. Also a great show.

9) Mid season new TV has been a mixed bag. BBC's Robin Hood has potential but it's a bit of a slow start (that said, I was warned about that), the aforementioned Dresden Files is fun, and the Tudors is very well done and I'm liking it more than I thought I would.

10) Did I mentioned Civil War sucked?

Too Stupid to Live

2006-12-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

I thought about calling this part I because I have a feeling I will never run out of stuff like this.

So I was poking around online and came across a number of news stories about the plot of the new video game Assassin's Creed. Apparently, Veronica Mars' Kristen Bell, who is doing a voice for the game (and who I think should play Supergirl if they do another film) spilled something a lot of folks already suspected about the game from earlier trailers and the like- that the game involves virtual reality or some other technology despite seemingly set during one of the Crusades.

That's not what made me roll my eyes so far back I could see my brain. Clearly, Ms. Bell had been allowed to leak that info...which was already heavily hinted at by the game's earlier trailers and the like. I wasn't even terribly annoyed at the commentary about "OMG, this dumb blonde spoiled the surprise." Though given it wasn't much of a suprise...I did find that a little silly.

No it was comments like the one's to follow. I actually am going to link to it so people can see what a world class fucktard some people can be over a fucking video game spoiler...that's not even a spoiler.

So yeah go here.

And here.

And here...just for a few examples of why some motherfuckers can't get laid by anyone with actual self-respect.

For those that didn't click on these links, let's just say that for spilling a non-secret, some folks think its cool to call people names like retard, bimbo, and wish rape upon them.

In particular, at least in these examples, it was three guys with the names djann19, Kurgan10 (because 9 other Highlander fans got there first), and ExplicitBrain.

Now my own dislike for spewing bile under an internet alias notwithstanding...these guys are still maggots. Sexism, mysogyny, and the like are not cool. They aren't even "kewl" and they are barely "xtreme." And even then they are like Rob Liefield Youngblood "Xtreme"...derivative, boring, and not something that would function in the real world.

Now I realize that every time I say something like this some idiot accuses me of "trying to tell people how to live their lives." That last bit is in quotes because I was told that by some idiot on a message board once when I had the audacity to suggest that maybe it wasn't cool to be bragging about cussing out a retail clerk at your local game store just because he had a gall to do his crappy job and ask you if you wanted to pre-order a hot new game like his corporate masters likely forced him to with most if not all customers.

But then that's probably my problem since I can't see how yelling at a 19 year old kid just trying to make a bit of scratch in this nation of a rapidly vanishing middle class and no living wage is fucking awesome. As is apparently calling some person you haven't met a retard or bimbo because they told you something you were too uninformed to know.

For God's sake, people, what the hell is wrong with some of these morons? Do people actually think that being that fucking rude is a right?

Well actually, if they do that's fine...because it is. Problem is, these folks never seem to get the rest of that idea...kinda like all those folks who misquote "My Country, Right or Wrong..."

And what is the rest of that idea? Glad you asked. It's simple: You can express just about any asshole notion that pops into your brain. However, you have no immunity to any fallout from that save government censorship. So if you call someone's girlfriend a dumb slut and he or she mocks you for being a semi-literate immature dipshit...that's just really too fucking bad.

So much of the internet seems to ignore this. People think they can say anything and then cry "It's my opinion, I have a right to it! Oppression!" and make people stop bugging them.

Wrong. People have a right to say what they want and suffer any social or at times physical consequences thereof. And if you can't take the criticism or don't want to defend rape fantasies and sexist insult...don't make them. Crying to Mommy that the big bad people are not letting you be a cockmonkey doesn't cut it in anything resembling the real world.

Anyway, just wanted to comment in a mix or outrage and bemusement. Now if you excuse me I need to go kill a couple of hundred zombies in Dead Rising.

Another Year Gone...

2006-12-14T04:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me and stuff.

Creative Intent v. What We See...one of these things in not like the other

2006-12-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

One thing that annoys me about the internet and geeks on a particular topic who are "in the know" is how they often take information outside a creative work and judge a work on it.

I'm not talking about not buying Orson Scott Card because he's a bigot and you don't want to give him money. No, I'm talking about using outside knowledge to color your view and acting like that's the view.

For example, it was recently revealed by NBC that on the show Heroes the character of Zach, who seemed to be to many a confused gay teenager is in fact not gay. This is a bit of a surprise when you consider the writer of the show originally planned for him to be gay and that the show has dropped a few hints here and there. This is a bit troubling when you consider that it seems NBC came in and said "change this."

However...

If you just watch the show, if you just consume the media as it was created to be cosnumed, even if you read the webcomics and fictional Myspace pages, then it's not all that shocking.

Why? Because the creative work itself has given no proof of Zach's sexuality. Sure there are hints, but these hints can be false.

For example, at one point a nasty ultra popular kid mocks Zach for being gay. Does she know something we don't? Or is she just a bitch? Zach on his Myspace page says he likes Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Gay-dar alert or freaky high school movie buff? These things can go either way.

In fact, with regard to the movie choices and the like I kinda dig that apparently Zach's not gay...it's nice to see gay not automatically = like's "gay" stuff. Now that doesn't mean I'll be a bit annoyed at NBC if it comes out (no pun intended) that they changed the character's sexuality for some silly "we don't want more gays tuning into our shows" reason. But seeing as how the reason could be that they want to hook Claire and Zach up to avoid the possible high school aged Claire and mid to late twenties Peter relationship that seems at least plausible after the first half of the season I'm willing to be a bit patient about the whole decision.

Course that comes to my larger point, what a creative work intends is not what we see. And in the case of TV and film, what even one creator intends is not what gets made. Actors, cinematographers, executives, costumers, etc... get in the way of a a "pure vision" and the end product. Even comic writers have their work altered by the artist, editors, and in the case of books with continuity, the writers and artists who came before.

And because of this I tend to approach arguments about creative works based on what someone said on a blog or interview with a mix of "huh interesting" and "who gives a fuck?" Because even when I care about such comments I realize I'm not getting the whole story there either. A speaker's words are being filtered through a journalist, or being stripped of context and inflection before I see them. And like most people, I tend to think my way is best.

So I caution creative types and consumers of creative media and ask them to realize two things:

One: you will never get the "pure" version of something.

Other people's work, words, etc... will always get in the way. And not always for the worse, I might add. Lawrence Kasdan in my opinion helped George Lucas make better Star Wars films in episodes 4 through 6 by throwing in his own views and style into the screenplays. Jack Kirby wouldn't have been such a force in comics without Stan Lee and vice versa. In fact, you could argue "pure" versions of things are sometimes fairly boring. Look at most "one guy and a camera" projects you see on IFC and Sundance. Some are cool, but most are boring, dense, and with a "message" that's utterly muddled because the guy making this "pure" form of expression already knows whatever he's trying to convey and so he doesn't try to hard to show anyone else.

Two: Things outside the work influence you and not the work

If you read a novel by a guy and then find out he's a Neo-nazi, you have been changed by this knowledge. The work is still the way it was before. Sure, that might explain some things about the plot choices and the like in the work and you might decide not to read this guy's stuff any more, but your knowledge doesn't somehow alter the work like a literary philosopher's stone. Likewise, you read a web page that makes you think that the guy might be a neo-Nazi, you should not be calling everyone who likes the book a "Nazi lover" because a) they might not know what you know b) you might be wrong* c) it's a self-righteous jerk-ass thing to do.

Really, if outside knowledge changes your view of something, accept it, act accordingly and move on. Yelling about how everyone who doesn't agree with you based on these outside views is racist, homophobic, sexist, too liberal, too conservative, a religious zealot, hates god, too weak, a bully, a coward, a war-wonger, a peacenik, a fascist, a communist, a cultist, brainwashed, a tool of the Man, overly idealistic, too cynical, misanthropic, fat, lazy, crazy, or just plain smelly doesn't win you any points with anyone. Well, except a bunch of other folks who think that reading something from some literary historian's blog actually changes the works of Melville or whatever.

But those motherfuckers is crazy. Don't be like them.

* Heck, you might be crazy and wrong. Never discount that when you start to think lots of other folks are loathesome things. This might, to quote Boogie Nights, be a YP and not an MP.

In time for the Holidays...

2006-12-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

Here's a list even more Cool Shit you requested.*

1) Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures by Walter Moers (book)

Remember awhile back when I said go out and buy the 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear right now? Well, if you haven't...go ahead and do so.**

Back? Good. Now go buy Moers followup novel Rumo & His Miraculous Adventures. Equally as impossible to explain this novel is a fair bit darker and not quite as a good as Bluebear. Which just means it's merely one of the most kickass things you'll ever read and not just possibly the most kickass thing you'll ever read. The only downside is that now I want a Wolperting Whelp...and I don't think I can import one.

2) The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly (book)

Definitely an impulse buy that paid off. This story of a young boy who gets drawn into a fantasy world after his mother's death reminds me of Gaiman and Barker a bit, but with a style all its own. Sometimes the book does seem to be trying a wee bit hard to be literature with a capital L but that's a minor quibble. Mostly it's a creative and fun modern fairy tale.

3) John Sable: Freelance by Mike Grell (Comic trade paperbacks)

This time around the "step into the way back machine"place on the list belongs to John Sable, Freelance and his comic series of the same name. This loveable cross between JK Rowling, Alan Quatermain, Robert McCall, and Frank Castle is a fun modern pulp adventure series. Grell also wrote a novel about Sable, which basically modernizes the 80s comic plot a bit but is also a fun read. However, if you get the chance grab the comic and enjoy Grell's unique art style as well.

4) Hellsing OVA Vol. 1 (DVD)

So it might not be quite as jaw-droppingly cool as the TV show but the new OVA adaptation of popular manga Hellsing manages to improve on a lot of the old show, even if the music and pacing isn't quite as good. Still, the return of the excellent English voice cast from the older anime and some great moments of comedy make this very enjoyable and an easy purchase. Also, this version of the story will include Nazi vampies, which is combining two of the five great antagonists.

5) Heroes (TV Show)

Yeah, yeah, I should have mentioned this a while back and it's hardly news to anyone I know but damn this is a solid piece of TV. From the comic style camerawork to the tightly woven plot where things actually happen (yeah I'm looking at you Lost) this is probably best new show of the year. It really deserves its high ratings and hopefully nothing stupid will happen and hurt the shows chances for future seasons.

6) Patton Oswald (Comedian)

Man, this guy is so funny it actually hurts. The best part about Mr. Oslwad's comedy is often it starts in a way that makes you shake your hed and say "Huh, I wonder where he's going with this." The end result is always a) suprising and b) totally worth it.

Seriously, check out Patton if you haven't. He was one of three things that made the Shatner roast on Comedy Central really enjoyable (the other two were George Takei and Betty White) despite a few terribly unfunny comedians. His stand up is hysterical and he's a pretty darn good comic writer too though he's only written a few things.

Oh and he's also a tremendous geek. Which I consider a big plus since he's one of the few comedians who can work frost giants into a stand-up and have it actually be funny for everyone and not just the folks who can tell you how many hit dice those have.***

7) Frisky Dingo (Cartoon)

This Adult Swim 15 minute a pop animated series isn't the funniest thing on TV...that's Venture Bros. (or maybe The Boondocks). Nor is it the reason TV was invented...that's Veronica Mars. But it is a delightfully absurd superhero parody that's not a bad way to spend a quarter hour. This is the array of random crazy stuff that Tom Goes to the Mayor tried to be...but without all the sucking.

And no, I have no idea what the title means either.

So there's a few more things for the list of stuff you should be watching, reading, etc... Have a happy holiday if I'm not back before it's over.

* And for anyone who hasn't figured this out yet, the title of this reoccurring theme is taken from Hodgeman's list of hobo names. See my first list for more details.

** Unless you're a friend of mine who happens to go to school in the Pacific Northwest and probably is not even be reading this at all. Why? No reason...just that the book is poison! A slow poison that won't wear off until after X-Mas...best to avoid it until then.

*** If for some reason you're reading this and don't get that reference, just keeping walking. You're better off not knowing...

D is for Drama...and Dumbass

2006-12-08T14:03:00.000-08:00

Facts are often more boring than fiction. Stranger perhaps, but muddled with extra details that cut down the drama so many people seem to love. And sadly, when they are more exciting they are often unpleasantly real- Full of screaming, crying, and real people suffering real messy fates. After all, far be it from me to suggest Katrina wasn't exciting...it just sucked for pretty much everyone stuck in the middle of it. But generally, what really happened is a fairly mundane and explainable occurence. If your spouse is late coming home, she's probably not dead in ditch, the train was probably delayed. If a kid at school is moody and dark, he's probably going through a phase and not planning to shoot everyone in the school. Sure, these things happen...but they are rare and as I noted earlier, messy and sucky.

But that doesn't stop a lot of people from overreacting and overacting whenever they can use something mundane to throw a bit of drama into their lives. Because people as a rule, love drama.

However, most people don't love horror.* Yet instead of wanting to just be happy when your life is not full of horror, it seems that a lot of folks love to spice up their existence with drama. Drama, as I'm using it here, is creating or focusing on things which one can exaggerate, blow out of proportion, or overstate to create a bit of safe, unthreatening excitement.

So to give an example: A dead child is horror. Trying to kick goth kids out of school because they write some dark poetry and you're afraid they are going to kill your precious baby is drama.

Now, I won't pull any punches. I think that creating drama for yourself(or others) is unbelievably stupid and I do in fact think less of people who do it a lot. It's a cheap thrill at the price of actually not perceiving reality. It's what people who have various mental conditions want to stop from happening, and yet most perfectly stable folks seem to want to do this kind of crap for fun.

And I'm not talking about your garden variety drama queen here, I'm talking about otherwise normal people too. For example, let's say Guy A says to Guy B "I have a friend who's queer." Guy C overhears this and decides, since he doesn't like the word queer and thinks it's homophobic, that Guy A is a homophobe. He then either gets in Guy A's face about it or tell other people, who are either going to argue with with or agree with him. If they agree then a bunch of people think Guy A is a jerk, if not then maybe Guy C gets pissed and says some of these other folks are homophobes too. In either case, Drama has been created.

Problem is, there is a noteable subset of the GLBT community that like the word queer. They use it and ask people they know to use it instead of other terms. Guy A might be a jerk, or he might just be someone whose friend told him it was cool to call him queer. Until we ask, we don't know.

But most people don't bother asking. In fact, I think they don't want to. Because knowledge creates understanding. Understanding reduces drama, and drama is what so many people want they are willing to forgo a lot of other stuff, like sensible inquiry and needless animosity.

Also, asking is effort. A trivial one for most people I know, but an effort all the same. So creating drama is also often lazy. Especially since so much drama is reactive or gossip, and not stuff that people actually need to do something about.

So to recap- creating unnecessary drama is lazy, willfully ignorant, stupid, and maybe crazy.

So folks, consider this a PSA:

Don't be Dumbass...Don't Do Drama.

*And I mean real horror not Saw, which inexplicably a lot of people seem to love.

The Worst Thing You Ever Saw or Read Usually Isn't

2006-11-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

I've seen this a few places lately. I don't know why but every once in a while people start asking about what the worst movie, book, TV show, etc... is and there are always tons of folks jumping in with comments about how horrible X was or how Y was crap.

Thing is, these people almost never actually come even a bit close to "the worst" of a medium or genre.

Seriously, if The Star Wars Prequels or Wheel of Time were the "worst" films or books you've ever experienced you are either a lucky lucky bastard or at least mildly delusional. Because for such admittedly somewhat uneven works to actually be the worst thing you've ever come across you'd have to miss a lot of real shit.

Of course, saying the worst movie you've ever seen was Freddie Got Fingered (which I still insist myself) doesn't garner the attention that saying you hate Star Wars does. Of course that can't be it, since it implies that many people given to such hyperbole are attention whores...and really that's gotta be unlikely, right? Right?

Uh-huh, right. We live in a world where folks will give money to a guy so he can buy and then smash a PS3 in front of a crowd of folks who didn't get one...attention whoring has reached something akin to an art form, mehtinks.

So anyway, Let's be brutally honest about what really sucks, shall we? Let's not complain about how Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is the worst film ever because you miss Tom Bombadil. If we must declare something the worst of the worst, let's dip into the well of deserved obscurity to find some real shit, shall we? Unless your worst movies ever list contains gems like Beyond the Wall of Sleep I can't see how we have anything more to talk about. If you're going to put Eddings, Jordan, or whoever on the worst sci-fantasy novelist list and you don't have Susan Wright, John Norman, or that person who tried to sell their Star Wars fanfic novel on Amazon well up towards the top of your list then we really don't have any common ground to tread.

So please, don't bother claiming that anything even a five folks you know thought was "okay" was the worst thing ever. Because it wasn't. At all. And all such behavior really does is make you look ignorant. Ignorant of what's really crap, but ignorant all the same.

Here is the List of More Cool Shit You Requested...

2006-11-12T04:24:00.000-08:00

So it's that time again...more stuff from me that you should be reading, watch, playing, etc...

1) The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers (Book)

How in the hell did I miss this? This book has been availiable in English (its originally German as I understand it) for about 7 years and nobody even told me it existed? Whose job is it to tell me these things because they are fired.

In all seriousness, go out and buy this book right now. This is one of the most creative and fun novels I've ever read. If there was a smidge more justice in the world I am confident it would be Captain Bluebear and not Harry Potter who was the kid-friendly fantasy hero du jour. Lewis Carroll on LSD dreams of creating a world such as is contained in this book. Any attempts to describe it are futile, save that it is the book that anyone who even mildly enjoys fantasy should have been reading already.

One bit though, while kids can and should read this, it is rightly in the regular literature section at most bookstores. Which should make it easy enough to find..now go buy it. Really, you can read the rest of this list later.

2) Empire of the Wolves (Movie)

So this at first glance looks like a Jean Reno police drama from France. Then you start watching it and it starts to look like a serial killer movie. Then maybe it's an espionage story. And eventually you get it...it's all of these with a John Woo homage or two thrown in. The end result is very fun, very smart, and overall very cool.

3) Kull: Exile of Atlantis by Robert Howard (Book)

If you've never read Howard and you even kinda like fantasy...well, what are you waiting for? The man really was a fine writer who deserves more attention than just being "that Conan guy." Though even that's not so bad, since the Conan stories are really damned good.

But let's talk about Kull, who is the subject of the newest Howard collection. Kull is a bit more romantic and a bit more proactive than Conan, and he certainly has a better sense of humor than Howard heroes like Solomon Kane. This means Howard's Kull stories might be a good place for Howard neophytes to start.

4) Guitar Hero II (Video Game)

I probably don't have to tell most folks who play video games that Guitar Hero and its sequel are awesome. But just in case I do: They're awesome. That's really about all I have to say on that one. If you liked the first one, get the new one. Sure, I wished they'd put a few different songs on in some cases but since I can now play Jon the Fisherman, Message in a Bottle, Pyschobilly Freakout and Rock This Town on GH, I'm willing to put up with the occasional Lamb of God crapfest.

But Guitar Hero designers, for the third game? I have two words.

Johnny Freakin' Cash. C'mon, get with the program people!

5) Midieval: Total War 2 (Video Game)

I have a confession to make. I know a lot of folks complain about the AI on the Total War games. I know that at easier levels, Rome: Total War it was fairly easy to stomp your enemies with a small number of troops and basic tactics. And I've heard similar complaints about the newest game, Midieval: Total War 2.

And y'know. I don't really care. I rarely played out most battles anyway. I tend to let most of them automatically resolve, confident in the strength of my chosen commanders and my selection of troops. I mean, sure, I play out some big battles...but simulating every skirmish bores the crap out of me.

What makes the Total War series fun for me is the story it tells. Marriages, kids, alliances, etc.. makes for a fascinating dynastic element that for me makes the game worthwhile in spades. It could have killer AI and if I can't play Richard the Bloody of Denmark, son of William the Just, then I don't really care about a little extra RTS challenge.

6) The Prestige (Film)

Okay. Christopher Nolan, the director of Batman Begins and Memento. Plus Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine. David Bowie as Nikolai Tesla. Really, are you still even reading this? Get out and see this incredibly creative and well done film.

7) The Punisher: The Extended Cut (DVD)

Okay, so while a lot of critics and a fair number of filmgoers didn't like Thomas Jane's Punisher film...well, I say screw 'em. I enjoyed the hell out of it this film, which I generally think was one of the better done Marvel Comics film adaptations. And I for one am all over seeing even more of this film. And in a trend I hope continues in special editions, the film's prelude that was scrapped due to time and budget is going to be animated and included on the DVD. Now that's an extra.

8) The Equalizer (TV Show)

So Spike TV, after pissing me off by canceling their surprisingly good Blade TV series has won me back a bit by rerunning what I think might be the best done and least dated TV show of the 1980s. This tale of an ex-spy trying to redeem himself by helping the helpless is a fine piece of TV that still stands up today. Sadly, there's no DVD release planned that I have heard of but if you get Spike, set your Tivos or whatever and catch an episode or two, I think you won't be disappointed. Particularly cool about this show is the big buff hero is in fact aging, slightly paunchy Edward Woodward, who carries off an air of cool and competence in a way that you see more recently in distinguished actors like Ian McKellan. Woodward's Robert McCall is cool, smart, and utterly dangerous because the actor's talent makes him so.

Well there ya go, I wanted to hit ten, but I have to save some cool stuff for next time.

Enjoy More Things and Trust Me...You'll Enjoy More Things

2006-11-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

This is sort of a link up to my earlier statements about me liking well-rounded people. The older I get the more I realize that the wider variety of stories, movies, plots, games, etc... I find fun and merit in the more likely I'll actually enjoy a randomly selected product from those categories.

I mean sure, total crap is still total crap, but I find I don't waste a lot of time declaring how my time was "utterly wasted" and feeling like I have to piss on someone else's work since more often than not I'm finding at least bits and pieces of various works that I like. For example, I might not feel the overwhelming urge to own Troy on DVD but I can still be really impressed and entertained by Eric Bana's performance as Hector.

Sadly, so many of my fellow geeks seem to do the opposite. I see a lot of complaints on a number of subjects that break down into three annoying categories:

1) It sucked because it's not part of the fairly limited group of things I am inclined to like and it wasn't stellar enough to overcome this...even if the actual work is, in fact, stellar.

Seriously, the next time you run across some geek who owns 100 different flavors of magical girl anime and trashes on something like Casablanca because they were secretly put off by the lack of Ingrid Bergman jumping onto Sam's Piano and yelling "Nazi Fighter Magic Transformation Go!" please punch them in the nuts for me.* If they try to defend this weird bias as some sort of objective failing of the creative work itself, feel free to slap them upside the head too.

2) It sucked because I'd already decided it.

You see this all the time. A so-so movie trailer, a book cover by an artist one doesn't care for, etc... and it doesn't matter if the work is in fact good, the mind is already made up. This usually goes hand in hand with the next reason which is...

3) It sucked because it's not the magical piece of crap in my head.

Oh dear god this is the worst. Seriously, every once and awhile you'll see some goofball talk about how he/she would have made a particular work "better." This might be fanfic, an internet forum post, or just a comment to this social circle but it's almost always utter shit. I encounter too many ideas along these lines that are in essence, "In my version we appeal only to my limited interests and eliminate anything I didn't like from the original and act like this is the one true way." These are the assholes who want a Batman film where Robin gets gang raped, a line for line translation of a novel to film with no regard for the difference in medium, or something equally craptastic.

They also bitch the loudest when someone messes with the "classic" version of a character or story. Problem is, their version of "classic" is whatever they were first exposed to. So a guy who started reading comics in the early 90s has a "Classic X-Men" line-up which includes Gambit and someone connected to Cable. And that's fine, but it's not classic in any sense of the word save that which exists in that person's head.

As an aside, I think this is how bad adaptations get made...the major difference being that the person with the magical piece of crap in their head sadly has a movie deal or something.

Anyway, I've found a great way to not fall into these traps and/or be an asshole about this kind of stuff is to try and read, watch, etc... some new stuff every once and awhile. And don't pick up something to reaffirm why you only read lesbian furry fantasy or whatever, actually give it a shot and even if it doesn't thrill you, recognize the stuff that does work or that you do appreciate.

And yes, that means you might be exposed to some crap. And hey, if you don't want to risk and that and want to stick with the safe stuff...then go nuts. But shut the hell up about the stuff you actually have little knowledge of. If you've never actually seen a western most fans of the genre would agree is at least entertaining, don't say they're boring. If the reason you don't like an author is because an ex-girlfriend loved him/her and raved about how they were better than your favorite writers but in fact you've never even read a single word of this person's work...own up to that or just shut up about it.

But if you actually do expose yourself to a variety of things I think you'll find that overall you're ability to enjoy various aspects of literature, film, and maybe even life increases. At the very least you can hold conversations about things other than Italian zombie films or dark fantasy rpgs. And believe or not, that is a useful skill.

* or kick 'em in the tits, I'm nothing if not a supporter of feminism.

Good and Bad Hate: A Tale of Two Comics

2006-10-14T03:29:00.000-07:00

In the realm of recent comics there are few I hate more than Civil War and Nextwave.

Thing is, one kind of hatred is good. The other? Not so much...

What do I mean by this? Well let's start with Marvel's big crossover, Civil War.

I admit I don't think a comics event like Civil War should come so soon after House of M, Marvel's last big mega event. Despite the passage of about a year between the two it just seems rushed. People, writers and readers, are still adjusting to the fallout of House of M and along comes this new big event that changes everything...again. And Joe Quesada was criticizing DC for being off with Infinite Crisis.

That said, my overall hatred for Civil War is the good kind. I hate that Iron Man is a tremendous dick. I hate that Reed Richards is the world's smartest dumb guy. I hate that Spiderman got conned into revealing his secret identity. I certainly hate that SHIELD has turned bad and is getting psychotic supervillains to hunt down Captain freakin' America. Oh, and I hate that no one in the Marvel Universe seems to notice what a big fucking set up the whole thing was. And wow, do I hate that Iron Man and Mr. Fantastic thought it was a good idea to clone Thor to use as a heavy against their former friends who won't tow their crappy party line.

But all of that hatred is good. Because, as a long time comic reader...I can generally buy these things.

Iron Man is the same control freak dick who some years ago went after every person in the world who had a gadget based on some stolen technology of his. Hero, villain, government agency...didn't matter. That's right, the guy who made a lot of money selling weapons to the government and who has actually given his technology to various heroes over the years arbitrarily decided no one could be trusted with it and in some cases actually injured and killed some folks to "get back what's mine." Tony Stark, despite sometimes being a great hero, is a tremendous fucking cock. After all, this is the guy who has repeatedly lied about who's in his souped up tin can, especially after he's done something bad enough to face potential jail time.

And yet here he is trying to beat up guys who don't want to reveal their identities to a government that has at various points Red Skull as a cabinet member, wasted billions on genocidal anti-mutant robots that routinely go beserk, tried to replace Captain America with a bloodthirsty psycho (twice), and tried to invade Wakanda because they wanted all the cool shit in that country without having to engage in any of the humanitarian endeavors that nation stated was the "cost" of sharing such treasures. Why is Iron Man doing this? Well, because he is a control freak dick.

But hey, what about Reed Richards. Reed is a nice guy. And he's damned smart. Seems odd he'd do something so short-sighted and stupid, doesn't it?

Not really.

After all, Reed Richards is the same guy who took his best friend, girl friend, and her kid brother up into orbit to exposed to dangerous radiation because he wanted to see what would happen and/or didn't think to actually shield their spaceship from cosmic rays. He's the guy who almost lost his smoking hot girlfriend to a crazy aquatic anti-hero with bad hair and winged feet who invades the surface world every six months. So Reed's the smartest guy in the freakin' world...except when he's being mind numbingly stupid.

So I totally believe Reed would decide to follow Iron Man's asinine plan and would attempt to clone a god just to see if he could.

I believe SHIELD, an agency which once tried to kill its own head because it had been utterly and totally subverted by hostile forces, will recruit Bullseye and Venom and yet will try to grab Luke Cage at 12:01 AM the day the Registration Act Cage refused to abide by went active.

I believe that a fucked up clone of Thor, sans the actual god's wisdom and judgment, would go beserk and try to kill anyone his creators labeled as "enemy." And I believe a control freak, the world's smartest dumbguy, and a perpetually fucked up intelligence agency wouldn't see that coming.

I also believe that virtually no one is looking for the actual villain who started this whole thing.

Don't get me wrong, these things suck. I hate them. And I totally buy them as happening in the Marvel Universe. Come to think of it, I totally buy them happening in the real world too, minus the capes and powers. Thus the emotional reaction Civil War creates in me is a positive one...even though it manifests mostly as anger and hatred at the believable stupidity of some of the characters.

Now let's talk Nextwave.

I've been told I don't get Nextwave. That I don't see why it's so damned subversively funny and all that. I've also been told why I don't like it, which usually is because I get "worked up" over changes to characters "nobody cares about."

But that's not true. I totally get it.

I get that to tell some fairly hackneyed gags I've already read in earlier works by the same author, Warren Ellis is rewriting comic history, ignoring continuity, and doing anything he likes in hopes of pissing off at least as many people as he entertains. I get that he's playing with these comic "sacred cows" of history, character consistency, continuity, etc.. and doing so with "minor" characters that "nobody" cares about. After all, it's not like any of these guys were created by Jack Kirby or led the Avengers* so it's not like he's doing this to deliberatly piss anyone off, it's just good fun with characters no one has ever been able to do anything with. After all, it's not like any of these folks were ever regulars in a major title or got a miniseries or something before he came along.**

I get that Ellis is a motherfucking rock and roll comics rebel who's trying to do for superhero parodies what he did for Hunter S. Thompson...repackaging it so that people who didn't read this kind of stuff the first time can experience it like it was fresh and new...and in some cases act like it didn't happen the first time.***

I get all that. I just don't think it's fucking funny. In fact, I think it's utterly boring.

And I can't help but remember this is the guy who got tired of the Authority after 12 issues and still can't finish Planetary. This is also the guy who tends to kill a lot of characters he doesn't create when given the chance and get credit for being edgy. This is the guy who repackaged and recycled scenes from the aforementioned Planetary to do a short fiction bit in White Wolf's rpg Adventure!.

So I get it. I'm just bored with reruns. Ellis' own, or his version of something I saw years ago. It's not clever to rewrite whole characters for a dick or sex joke. I get that I'm supposed to think it's gleefully irreverent and all that crap, but I can't help but see things like Nextwave's Civil War parody cover or Fing Fang Foom's rampage explained because he has no dick and think "Wow, a crossover parody cover and radioactive monster phallic humor...this is the best the guy who gave us Jack Hawksmoor and 'Dude, you Fantasti-suck' can do?"

So really, I get it.

I just hate it. And it's the bad kind of hate. It's not invoking an emotional reaction due to its content. It's invoking one due to its lack of same.

This is mostly because it's some seriously unfunny shit in my book that's better than even some admittedly "also-ran" Marvel characters deserve.

But partially it's because I suspect that if we switched Warren Ellis' name with Chuck Austen, Bendis, Claremont, or whoever else the internet hates this week people would be calling this piece of crap...a piece of crap.

And maybe I'd be a bit more charitable about this book if I haven't had to endure being labeled, insulted, and overall talked down to by its fans. And hey maybe I'm a bit prickly on the subject. As a lawyer, published writer, game designer, husband, and pretty damn well read guy who just happens to be a long time comic reader I get a bit annoyed when I'm told my understanding of something is inferior simply because I don't like it.

So maybe it's the fanboy reaction I hate and not Nextwave.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I hate both. And unlike my annoyed groans at Tony Stark's latest fuck up it's the bad kind of hate. It's the bored kind of hate. The "I could have written this crap myself once the theme of 'extreme in yer face revisionist parody' was set" kind of hate. It's the Big Fat Hate.

Actually, it's worse than that. It's the more sadistic, messier, pointless, and ultimately less interesting kind of hate.

Yes folks, it's the All-Star Batman & Robin kind of hate.

And who the hell am I to praise such an uneven and sometimes annoying but often entertaining Civil War writer Mark Millar over uneven and sometimes annoying but often entertaining Nextwave writer Warren Ellis?

Isn't it obvious?

I'm the goddamned Jack, man.

* Both of these things, of course, are actually true of two of the characters in Nextwave.

** Wrong in every case with Nextwave except for Captain Big Grown-Up Naughty Word, who is Ellis' way of oh so slying pointing out past stupid Captain titled characters in Marvel, the vast majority of which haven't been seen in over a decade. Way to be current, Warren.

*** Seriously, I can provide a decent list of superhero parodies in a similar vein from Martial Law to JLI to the Pro. The big difference here is that unlike most similar works, Ellis is getting to use the actual characters and not thinly veiled knock-offs.

Here is the List of Cool Shit You Requested.

2006-10-11T04:09:00.000-07:00

When my friend Joe last came to visit he asked me to post a list to my blog of cool stuff that I think most people I know would like but which they might not be reading, watching, etc... I already mentioned Rogue's Gallery a few entries back and I've sung the praises of Brick, but here's some more stuff to look for.

So here goes. In no particular order:

1) American Way (comic)

This limited series from Image Comics is utterly wonderful and actually manages to find a new take on the "heroes with feet of clay" idea. Set in the 60s, it profiles a government superteam's collapse but really, it's a lot more than that. Check it out if you like superheroes pretty much at all.

2) The Areas of My Expertise (book)

John Hodgeman might just be the master of dry wit and subtle parody. Anyone who thinks his Mac "I'm a PC" or Daily Show appearances are even a bit amusing owes it to themselves to buy this book.

3) Pride of Baghdad (graphic novel)

Want to see what's worse than being a human being in the middle of a warzone? Love yourself some animal allegories? Check out this graphic novel by Runways writer Brian K. Vaughan.

4) Snake Agent: A Detective Chen Novel (book)

So this book is...hrm...Chinese Mysticpunk? Author Liz Williams has managed to actually do something incredibly new with her tale of demons, celestial hiearchies, cyberpunk futures, and gritty occult crimes. It could be a mess, but instead it's a refreshing and skillfully written novel.

5) Okami (Video Game- PS2)

So you think the older game consoles have pretty much done all they can, huh? Well, maybe you're right...now that Okami has been released. It's a fighting and calligraphy platformer. No, you read that right. You play a goddess in wolf form who has to save the world from a great darkness. Beautiful and blissfully mythic, I can't recommend it enough.

6) Legion of Super Heroes (Cartoon)

Okay, so it's not perfect and won't satisfy all the hardcore fans because...well, because nothing ever does. However, it's incredibly entertaining, has some smart character designs, and is a pleasant mix between JLU and Teen Titans. They do change a few characters, but this long time Legion fan thinks that they got the important stuff right.

7) The Descent (Movie)

Forget Hostel, Cabin Fever, Saw I-III, and all that gore before plot crappy "XXXtreme" horror that has become so popular because of hacks like Eli Roth (whose flaws as a filmmaker based on his first two works will actually take me all day to discuss, maybe some other time). Descent is what happens when you let a good director go over the edge with blood and violence. I know there's been some complaints about the US ending being changed, but a) the director did it himself 2) I actually think the US ending works better in some ways. In any event, check this horror film out if you want something creative and scary as hell.

8) Essential Tales of the Zombie (Comic Trade Paperback)

Holy crap! I almost missed this one, folks. This is Marvel 1970s horror comics at if not their finest, at least it's close. The collection is black and white like all Essentials, but really I think it works almost better given the subect matter.

9) Aragami: Raging God of Battle (Movie)

Sure this film is several years old but I don't think most people have seen it. And really they need to. This is a textbook example of what a skilled filmmaker can do in a week with five actors (and really only 3 show up for any length of time) and one set. It also shows how crazy high concept action can be done on a budget and just for the challenge and joy of making films. If you're an aspiring writer, director, etc... watch this film the next time you think what you're trying to do is "too hard" or "can't be done." Also, anyone who likes samurais fighting evil vampire like gods really can't go wrong here.

10) Life on Mars (TV Show)

Ever wondered what it takes to make a TV cop show fresh and new again? How about taking a 2006 cop and sending him to a 1970s London which might also be inside his own comatose brain? Add one of the coolest supporting characters ever in crime fiction (I'm looking at you DCI Hunt) and you get a damned fine BBC offering that is well worth whatever you have to do to check it out.

11) Sharpe's ______ (Book Series)

Bernard Cornwell's Sharpe's series is a fairly rare beast. It's a deservedly popular military adventure series that can actually appeal across generations. Sharpe, the title character of the series, is utterly badass and yet also flawed and human. In many ways, Sharpe is the Sergeant Rock of 19th Century historical fiction, and those who haven't at least given Sharpes Rifles (the first novel) a shot really should. The BCC adaptations with Sean Bean are also incredibly entertaining.

12) Privelege of the Sword (Book)

Ellen Kushner can write a damn fine swashbuckling tale. Technically a fantasy novel due to it's completely fictional setting, this book really owes more to The Three Musketeers than Lord of the Rings. No magic, no elves, no dark evil conquerors, etc... Just a young girl and her crazy uncle thrown into a world of intrigue, romance, and swordplay. This is exactly the kind of stuff sci-fi fantasy writers need to be working on instead of writing up their D&D campaigns.

There we are, a short and incomplete list, but it's a place to start.

I Like Well Rounded People

2006-10-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been getting really annoyed at my fellow "geeks." Too often I find some person spouting about how stupid X was or how Y can't be aprreciated by people who "really understand" what's "wrong" with it.

And I do mean really annoyed. A few times in the past year or so I've found out that some person I've encountered casually and not enjoyed interacting with has died or suffered some terrible turn of fortune that means that they won't be posting on certain message boards or attending certain events or what have you and I find myself thinking "Well, on the bright side they won't be around to annoy the hell out of me with arbitrary proclaimations of how everything they like is golden and everything else is crap."

So yeah, I guess that kinda makes me a dick. But at least I can endeavor to be an honest one. My estimation of someone's worth and interest is proportional to how well rounded they are and how well rounded they try to be.

Why? Simple. Well rounded folks have to overcome more empathy to be a raging cockmonkey. They can still do it. I see it all the time. But at least those folks are motivated in their aberrant behavior. They aren't casually and lazily arrogant in ways you see so often.

Particularly online. If I had a nickel for every time I've read some internet post that follows the format of "People who like X aren't as cool and smart as those of us who like Y" or the ever popular "Z sucks" sans any explanation or reasoning I could probably finance a hit on all the people who annoyed me by saying those things.

And in my experience, it's the folks who at least try and see multiple sides of an argument, conversation, or even a piece of entertainment who tend not to act in such an abrasive and annoying fashion. They also tend not to throw up the old "I know I said only a retarded monkey fucker would like that book/movie/whatever, but stop being mean to me! It's my opinion and you're horrible for saying you think it sucks. I can say what I want! Stop telling me how to act, you Nazi!" and usually don't get all bent out of shape if you disagree with them.

Also, well rounded folks tend to actually enjoy things more.

No really, I'm sure there's someone out there who wants to scream about dilluted focus and a lack of deeper understanding but come the fuck on...if you haven't read the Odyssey you won't get references to it in DC Comic's 52. It's actually just that simple. Sure, you might still enjoy that work for other reasons and miss the reference, but the guy who recognized and appreciated it just enjoyed it more.

Also, I'm not just talking about whether or not someone likes doing something, I'm talking about trying a few new things and spending a minute or two let the acceptance take that there are usually reasons that other people like the things you don't that have nothing to do with any innate superiority on your part. I'm also talking about being willing to step outside one's comfort zone every once and awhile without acting like it's utter torture. Go to that ball game with your grandpa and don't bitch about how you hate sports, let your DC comic reading friend talk about his favorite book to your Marvel loving ass, and maybe realize the bored retail monkey who won't let you break store policy is just trying to get through his day without getting crap from the boss. And when you do all of these things, pay attention to the people around you. See if you can understand why they're happy, sad, angry, or excited.

And if the answer comes back "because they're stupid and I'm better than they are because I only do cool things and engage in perfectly righteous behavior" or any such variation then look again. Look harder. Look until you're damned sure that's the case and you can defend that position from a hundred reasoned arguments to the contrary.

Because if you can't, odds are in those cases the maladjusted dipshit in the room (or the chat room for you shut ins) is you.

And that's fine, until you actually want someone to accept that idea...or you as a person. I know a lot of lonely not terribly well-rounded folks of various stripes. I don't really them, but I do know them.

I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just kinda wanted to say it. I normally try to gives these posts a bit more cohesion, but this particular "thought of the day" is just a fairly random musing.

Explicit Lyrics Labels on CDs are Fucking Silly

2006-10-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know...startling revelation here. Real circa 1986.

However, I have a specific and recent example of exactly why said explicit lyric labels are silly that I want to share.

So I recently bought the 2 CD set Rogue's Gallery. For those who don't know...and I'm guessing that's most of you, this is a collection of sea shanties and other similar songs covered by modern musicians. The CD was produced by Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski, who you might remember from a little remembered pirate movie a few years back. There was a sequel this year too, but I don't think it did that well.*

Anyhoo, Rogue's Gallery has no explicit lyrics sticker on it. None. Nothing that cautions folks that there might be terribly naughty words on the songs.

Now I can see a few folks wondering "Well, why would it? I mean it's not like it's gangsta rap."

And that's true. Gangsta rap is much cleaner. In fact, Rogue's Gallery contains what I am fairly sure is the dirtiest song ever, the Good Ship Venus.

No, really.

Really, really.

Fine, don't believe me? Don't think some old sailing songs can match modern music for profanity and suggestive lyrics?

Here's just the first part of the lyrics, but tell the kiddies to go into the other room.

No, I'll wait.

...

...

Okay, here we go:

On the Good Ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figurehead was awhore in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis.

The captain's name was Lugger
By Christ he was a bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another

The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

And then it gets downright rude.**

Now please don't think I like such labels. Personally I think they're stupid and generally useless. But if stores and companies are going to use them, then they should enedavor to be consistent. I mean, don't just stick them on fairly tame "gangsta" and "alternative" music. Try and get the really nasty stuff.

But maybe one incredibly dirty song wasn't enough to warrant a sticker.

Good thing there's more where that came from...

We've got Nick Cave singing about Fire Down Belowwith a virtuous parson's daughter cautioning the sailors "All of you are bound for hell to feed the fucking fires." Pretty harsh for a churcman's get but then the parson did caution earlier in the song "Look here you motherfuckers if you lead a life of sin then there's fire down below!" so she probably comes by it honestly.

We've got the second dirtiest song ever, Gavin Friday's version of Baltimore Whores, which is about four ladies of the evening talking about how large their...ahem...well, how much they can accommodate in a particular orifice. I won't spoil the details, but ships and various animals are used in their boasts.

Now to be fair, some of the songs aren't all that dirty. Sting's Blood Red Roses is clean and Cave's other offering, Pinery Boy, is devoid of profanity. Songs by Bono, John C. Reilly, and other are pretty clean too.

But even with cleaner tracks, a whore sucking a dead man's penis just doesn't get you stickered in the record store like it used to.

Oh yeah, in case you haven't figured it out yet...Rogue's Gallery is awesome. If you can handle the profanity of some of the songs, it's worth the 20 bucks for the 2 CD set.

And who knows? You might learn something about the history of sea travel, song, and even the times when the song's were written. For example, Jack Shit's cover of Boney is a great musical history in brief of a particular diminuitive dictator of the 19th Century.

And if you can't handle the profanity, that's fine. You might want to give it a pass.

Wuss. :D

* Yes, Virginia, that's sarcasm.

** Yes the Sex Pistols covered this song too under the title Frigging in the Rigging but their version added nothing but a chorus and honestly isn't as dirty as this one.

I Think Ann Coulter Should be Shot in the Face

2006-09-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

I mention that only because Netscape has this annoying habit of giving me news articles "of interest" when I call up the browser. And today yet again I was treated to a link to another Coulter rambling, this one mentioning how maligned that drunken hypocritical assbag Joe McCarthy is because history remembers that opportunistic evil dipshit as...well, an opportunistic evil dipshit. And apparently that's bad and a big old clue that all liberals are evil or something.

And I can't be charitable like Henry Rollins. I don't think that a right-wing pundit who trashes on FDR democrats (who include my grandparents), liberal professional women (my wife) and trial lawyers (myself, my father, and my first boss out of law school) and is so ridiculous even Fox News is now trashing her should be a debased and silent love slave of an aging hard rocker...Sorry Henry.*

Nope, I think Ann should be shot in the face. Maybe it's Nick Cave singing sea shanties as I write this which is putting me in the mood, but I think the best thing for Ann is a bullet.

I know that means I can't actually be a liberal myself...after all they're all uber-sissies who shun violence and want everyone to go kiss a terrorist. Or something else Ann would say...since no one has shot her in the face yet. Shame that.

And yes, I realize that Anne is an American (technically) and lives in the US and as such is allowed to speak her mind, such as it is. I realize she has a right to publish books full of fake footnotes and make fun of 9/11 widows.

But it works both ways. That also means I have a right to express my opinions too. And the one I'm expressing right now is...stop me if you've heard this...Ann Coulter should be shot in the face.

Really, I'm allowed to say this. Trust me, I'm a lawyer.**

Course, I really don't think Ann should be shot in the face.

That's much too quick.

* For some clue what I'm talking about, Google Henry Rollins and Ann Coulter and it will become clear.

** And I write that almost unironically.

Remember What I Said...

2006-09-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

About people's ignorance making me feel smart?

Well, that goes double for the ignorance of movie reviewers.

Long story shortly told: I'm looking for pictures to use as visual aids for a 17th Century era Buffy the Vampire Slayer game I'm going to be running soon. So I've sifting through the web looking for pictures of pirate or at least pirate like actors and actresses.

So anyhoo, I'm poking around a site that has some pictures from the 13th Warrior. Now I highly enjoy and recommend this film and the site's reviewer didn't love the film as much as I, but he did enjoy it.

After all, as he said, it was supposed to be a Norse Excalibur.

A. Norse. Excalibur.

For those who don't know, the movie follows an Arab courtier who ends up helping a bunch of Norsemen deal with a threat to a king in Geatland, Hrothgar.

So the Arab (played by Antonio Banderas) hooks up with a bunch of Vikings led by Buliwyf successor to the old king who has just died.

So the Viking get to Rthogar's Kingdom and find out a menace known as the Wendol, have been attacking the king's hall and have already killed 30 men. So wackiness ensues and the Wendol are enocuntered and one of their "claws" (a clawed war club) is hefted up over the hall's door.

Then the warriors go about trying to protect the king after a brief encounter with the king's spoiled son.

So the Wendol, in this story a tribe of neanderthal-like throwback who eat men, fight Buliwylf and his men. The whole story involves going deep into the Earth to kill the Wendol's "Mother" (a high preistess), having to swim for a really long time at one point, fight a "fire dragon" (which ends up being a long line of cavalry with torches), and ends with a big last stand where all the evils are beaten and the king to be Buliwyf dies a great hero to be always remembered.

So does any of this ring a bell. Wendol? Buliwyf? Wendol's Mother? Hanging Wendol's Claw over Hrothgar's hall? Fighting a Dragon?

Anyone? Anyone?

Here's a hint...it ain't King Arthur.

What? Has no one heard of fucking Beowulf anymore? They didn't even really try to hide it. Wendol/Grendel, Buliwyf/Beowulf, etc...

So please, film reviewers and would be reviewers of anything...know your shit. It calls your opinions into question when you don't...and it makes you look like a fucking twit.

And please don't use the "Roger Ebert reviews a super-hero film" tactic and just shrug off all your misconceptions and mistakes as things only fanboys will care about...it doesn't work when Roger does it and he's got more cred than most reviewers.

The Shadow is not a Batman rip-off*, Superman is not only vulnerable to Kryptonite**, 13th Warrior is not a riff of Arthurian myth, the excessive blood in Kill Bill was not inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and the central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself. Those are all mistakes. I know, I looked them up.

And yet I see such statements in review after review. And lest you think I'm picking on online reviewers I'll tell you the Shadow bit came from a review in the Indianapolis Star and the Superman bit was from Ebert's Superman Returns review.

So really, please, if you're going to review or critique something check a few facts or just go for the less clever but actually correct observations. Or y'know, don't...but then don't complain and cry the fanboys are after you when someone points out how damned wrong you were and rightly suggests that might not be the only error of which you could be reasonably suspected.

* He precededs him by many years in fact.

** Magic, a lack of yellow sun radiation, or just a really good pounding by someone as powerful can do wonders.

Sometimes Other People's Ignorance Makes me Feel Smart

2006-09-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

The title here should be fairly self-explanatory but let me relate how I recently experienced this particular feeling.

So I was looking through Netflix trying to decide what to rent next when I noticed Brick. Now I own Brick on DVD, so I wasn't looking to rent it but something caught my eye. I noticed it's user rating was hovering at around 2 1/2 Stars out of 5.

Now personally I thought Brick was one of the more clever and well done films in the past year. The idea of a film noir set at a high school reminded me a bit of Veronica Mars (probably the best show on TV you're not watching if its ratings are any indicator). And I thought the use of actual 40s era slang in place of "that lingo those wacky kids use" was not only neat but an interesting commentary how all generations have their somewhat impenetrable slang and that, on some level, it's interchangeable.

But anyway, the movie had a fair number of negative ratings. Now I don't care if people didn't like it, but I was interested why they didn't. So I perused some of the 1 and 2 star ratings for the movies.

And now I fear for the future.

After about the tenth "I couldn't understand their gangspeak" or the ever popular "It was so lame that they talked older" I gave up. Some people are just...well, dumb mooks who can't get it into their biscuit that some films adopt a particular style. You don't have to like the style, but not liking it doesn't make it anything bad. Also, I suspect the people talking about "gang" slang in the film were actually too ignorant to realize that the dialouge was lifted from 1940s and 50s film noir and not today's streets. So yes, the "strange" dialogue was a conscious choice and had a point...morons.

It's like the people who watch Brotherhood of the Wolf and bitch how unrealistic it is that all the main characters know kung fu. Let me tell you something about that film for those who haven't seen it: It is established in the second scene of the whole film and was made clear by the trailers in most cases that in the setting of the film, French naturalists and American Indians knew kung fu...this was not a mystery sprung on anyone in the middle of the film. And as such, its part of the film's style and setting. If you hate it, fine. Walk out, turn it off, but in any event shut up about how silly it is just because you don't get it.

If you can't understand or even accept the aspects of a fictional work's setting once they have been laid out for you then that's really not a flaw as much as a limiting factor. And yet so many people bitch about such things because...well, I'm not sure why. Probably because all media should be for them or it's worthless and stupid.

Which prompts me to make the following list in the interest of public service. If you can't accept these aspects of a setting or story, then skip it and then I won't have to listen to people complain in an effort to sound really clever:

Jaws: A large great white shark will attack a boat with Robert Shaw on it.

Dawn of the Dead: Zombies exist, can run pretty fast, and want to eat you.

Raiders of the Lost Ark: The government will send one guy to fight Nazis, assuming that one guy is Harrison Ford.

The Killer: Chow Yun Fat can kill anyone. And he probably reloads offscreen.

Spider-Man: He can, in fact, do whatever a spider can.

Hulk, Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, etc...: Radiation under the right circumstances can give you superpowers and not cancer.

Henry V: A relative small number of tired and sick British guys can kill thousands of armored French warriors and only lose a handful of their own people.*

Buffy & Angel: Vampires exist. Also, everyone in high school and LA is hot.

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: Given the chance, Congress will actually try to stop graft.

Highlander: Immortal beings exist and like to try and chop off each other's heads.

Natural Treasure: Nicholas Cage can get the better of Sean Bean.

Sky Captain and the World of Tommorrow: Yes, someone would actually pick the annoying girl reporter who cheated and robbed them over the hot fighter ace with her own flying fortress.

Just about Every Teen Movie Ever**: The really hot chick you'd totally go for is "ugly" as long as she has curly hair, glasses, is a goth or something else "weird", doesn't wear dresses, or is smart.

So there, I've just saved some lucky person a bunch of time. If you can't accept the above aspects of a work...skip it. And more importantly skip bitching about it. Again, I don't mind if people don't like something, but I expect the reasons to be at least a bit sensible. Or at least private.

I know what I get instead is people talking about how A History of Violence was supposed to have more action, but I can dare to dream.

* And sure you'd think people wouldn't have a problem with this seeing as how it actually happened, but I sometimes boggle at people's stupidity.

** Except for Not Another Teen Movie...which just mocks this point.

I've had it with these motherfuckin' fans on this motherfuckin' net

2006-08-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

So I saw Snakes on a Plane. It was campy but really enjoyable and completely aware of what it was from the beginning to the end.

Also, given that these days it seems that you'll get full on decapitations and maiming in PG-13 movies long before you'll get some harmless nudity in an R film, I applaud the film's (somewhat gratuitous) nude scene.

So what didn't I like about it?

As per usual...the viewers.

Oh not the folks in the theater when I saw it. They were fine. We all had a fun time laughing and overall treating the film with all the seriousness it was clearly meant to be taken.

Nope, as per usual, it's the folks online who annoy the crap out of me. I'm reminded why I rarely go online anymore to hear what people think about films. Why? Because it's not about the film, it's about how one can take an opinion about a film and turn it into an excuse to trash on their fellow human beings.

Be it Snakes on a Plane or Shakespeare in Love, let me give folks out there a bit of advice about how to react with others about this film or any other creative work:

Your opinion of a film, taken on its own, does not do a damn thing to make you cool or smart. Nor does someone else's opinion make them uncool, stupid, "retarded", or "gay."

Sure, the reason you like or dislike something might be a factor here. After all, if you like Mississippi Burning because you get to see African American children beaten...guess what? You're a stupid dick. Likewise, if you hate Godzilla because you think Japanese people are ugly subhumans...again, you're a stupid dick.

However, most of the time it's just an opinion. That's it. It is nothing more than an indicator of preference others may or may not agree with. Sure, there are methods of critical analysis and the like that can be employed but most of the time it boils down to "I liked it/I didn't like it."

So people can think just having a particular opinion makes them smarter or better than someone if they like...but it will remain my opinion that such folks are deeply flawed and probably need to be held more. Course, not by me, because I hate those arrogant judgmental motherfuckers.

And I admit to a bit of heightened annoyance in the realm of opinions about film because I know a lot about film. Enough that I can easily keep up with guys who are the 3rd PA from the left in the cast group photo of Camp Nowhere and yet spout off whenever they get the chance because they are "in the biz." In fact, given some of the people in the movie industry I've met and some stories I've heard, I suspect I'm a bit ahead of many folks. For example, I know Eliot Ness was a real guy.*

From All's Quiet on the Western Front to Zatoichi, I've covered a lot of ground in my film viewing. I'll watch Classic like Citizen Kane, Lost Horizon, and the like and can also enjoy stuff like Evil Dead II, King Arthur, and even some of those generally low quality films they run on Sci-Fi.**

And while I don't like everything I watch, I manage to not be a dick about people not liking certain films as long as they can extend me the same courtesy.

And yet, that seems so damned hard for folks.

I mean, how often do you hear a variation this conversation, online or otherwise:

I saw ______

Oh man that was awful, what a piece of crap.

I actually kind of liked it. I mean it wasn't great but I had fun.

Oh my god it was so bad. I can't see how anyone with any taste would like that film...

For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you too." And if the person who gives that response to can't figure out why their comments were insulting then the follow up is "Man, you are fucking dense, aren't you?"

Worse, I meet people who do something similar when they haven't even seen the film. Such as:

I saw _____.

Oh, my friend saw that and said it was awful.

Huh, I enjoyed it.

Oh he said it was terrible, and he likes real shitty films.

For those wondering, the proper response to such a comment is "Yeah, well fuck you...sideways."

And for those bothered that I suggest such rude responses in such conversations please consider this: the conversation is already over. The person has already said or implied with no subtlety that you've got no taste, like something shitty, etc... Really, the only place to go from there is away. But that's a conversation for another day, right now I've got to get my motherfucking cats out of the motherfucking trash.

* That was a blatant reference to Brian Michael Bendis' Fortune and Glory for those keeping track.

** For example, I recommend Minotaur...just imagine the concept is "Theseus and the Minotaur was written by Howard" and you'll at least find it interesting.

Damned Muggles

2006-08-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

So apparently JK Rowling's getting some press (again) with her (repeated) suggestion that some of the main characters in her Harry Potter series might kick off in the last book.

Now I'm not a big Potter fan, nor do I have anything against the author or her books, but various comments have led at least some folks to think that one of the characters getting whacked is the title character himself, Harry Potter. Rowling is taking these hints and running with them, and making further comments to the effect of "If I kill him then other can't write about him after I'm gone."

Now I realize I'm not a multigallionaire selling author, nor am I all that emotionally invested in the books or the characters.* However, a word about this particular development.

A coming of age story, which Harry Potter essentially is, where the character who comes of age dies at the end...is generally a crappy coming of age story. I would think this is obvious, but then you never know how silly some folks can be.

Seriously, why even pretend that it's a good idea up for serious consideration to kill the title character in the final book when he finally grows up and becomes an adult when the whole point of such tales is to see this kid grow up and become an adult? Does the series really need the hype? Aren't they going to sell millions of books anyway,

But then I never get that sort of thing...I'm still trying to puzzle out why George Lucas felt the need to show me the double bladed lightsaber in the trailer for the Phantom Menace.

Anyway, just a random thought...now I need to do laundry.

* Big fan of reading that I am, HP is something I do, in fact, wait for the movies on.

I Feel the Hatred Growing Within Me...

2006-08-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

So I wrote early on about my wife's problems with her boss. And despite the fact that the end is in sight and she's interviewing for several higher paying and frankly better jobs that will hopefully soon pay off the whole thing still sucks.

Why exactly? Well, I'm glad you asked.

So my wife wasn't feeling well yesterday. She's been interviewing and working like mad and I'm sure the heatwave isn't helping. So as a result of I'm sure at least all of those factors and perhaps many more she was feeling ill. And since she had the sick time saved up she took yesterday off.

You'd think she'd fucking killed someone.

Her boss sends her an email basically accusing her of not coming to work because she didn't feel like it, not because she didn't feel well. She also called her yesterday evening and told her to not come in until she'd been to the doctor and gotten a note.

A note? From the doctor? Does she need to see the principal too?

Ignoring for a fact that all the doctor will and can do legally is say "Yeah, I saw her." What's the point of calling in the evening? If you wanted her to see the doc, call her in the morning so she can make an appointment.

But wait...there's more. She also sent an email to another staff member mentioning some work my wife was doing with the comment "I'm not sure if she knows how the call numbers work."

My wife. The librarian. With the law degree. Who has worked in libraries for about a decade in various capacities...not knowing how library call numbers work.

I've said it before. I can handle silly...I detest stupid. That, my friends, is stupid. I mean you have to be a fucking inbred moron to actually believe that someone with that much library experience can't figure out call numbers.

Well that, or a total fucking bitch. I favor both, myself.

But wait...there's more.

So apparently while her unbelievable idiot bitch of a boss is on vacation, my wife is supposed to email the library director when she arrives, leaves for lunch, gets back from lunch, and leaves for the day. Why? Fucked if I know...but then this is the woman wo has repeatedly stated my wife was absent days she wasn't, late times she was off at training, etc..

This is also the woman who, and this is no exaggeration, cannot actually get the job my wife has. No really, her position requires a law degree (JD) as well as a library science degree (MLS). This cock-juggling thundercunt* has only an MLS...and some sort of genetic brain dysfunction it seems.

The only thing that's keeping me for calling up the school myself and asking what in the hell they think they are doing is the fact that despite this idiot's protestations about my wife's unprofessionalism, attitude, and whatever else she seems to think is wrong, she keeps getting interviews with high-priced law firms that will pay much better and give her more authority and responsibility. In some cases, she is the only candidate they are currently considering.

And yet according to some two-bit middle manager at a (at best) lower second tier law school my wife's not professional and a real problem to work with.

And hey, maybe that's the case. I mean I'm no lawyer, I can't really give a second opinion on the sutiability of such a...

Oh wait, I am a lawyer...I can give myself a second opinion. They suck and she's leaving.**

Seriously, you'd think I was quitting based on how happy I will be when she gets an offer and walk the hell out of there. I seriously wouldn't recommend her current workplace to sickly Make a Wish foundation kids whose one wish was to go into a real law library if in fact it was the only such institution left standing.

Really, fuck them. Sideways. With a chainsaw. And while I realize that's terribly crude...at least it's sincere.

* Admittedly not mine, I gotta give credit to Ryan Reynolds in Blade: Trinity for that one.

** Okay not terribly original either: A paraphrasing of a Venture Brothers line.

So that was random...

2006-07-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

I belong to am a fairly regular poster on the Rpg.net forum site.

At least until today. Apparently I've been banned for two weeks.

Now let me explain something about Rpg.net's moderation policies.

Generally, personal attacks and the like are verboten. Making one will usually net you a warning unless it's fairly harsh. If you ignore the warning or said insult is bad enough to forgo a warning, then you might be banned for a day or so. Maybe a week if you tell someone their mother sucks cocks in hell* or something. People who keep getting banned get longer periods of time and can be permanently barred from the site. Again, this isn't set in stone...just generally how things go. It's a bit different from many places, but it makes the place relatively civil.

Unless of course you're me. Then apparently you get no warning and a two week ban for saying something that was basically snarky and perhaps a personal attack on anyone who was going to reply to a post I wrote in a particular manner I found really annoying. Not a nice thing to do, but far from talking about infernal maternal fellatio.

And yet... two weeks.

Huh.

I mean, I don't expect special treatment. So despite that I don't think I really went far enough for any ban, I can see how a short one might have been in order and don't really mind that. However, I'd really dig on consistent and fair treatment.

So when I see people tell people "You're a fucking tool" or something similar and get a week or less suspension I tend to think perhaps the place that banned me for two weeks doesn't want me around.

And hey, no big...it's a internet message board about gaming...not the State Bar Association. Just wish they'd said that 17,000 or so posts ago.

There's also the matter of the mod who banned me. The same guy who a few months back warned me off a something saying I'd been "repeatedly warned" about what I was allegedly doing. A bit of discussion later and we discovered that "repeatedly" meant once....over a year previous. Don't know if that encounter's directly related, but it kinda makes me wonder if the guy checked my record before going all crazy with the banning.

And in case anyone is wondering who is reading this I've never been banned there before in the 4 or so years I've been there and have only a handful of warnings that I can recall.

So yeah. Feeling real welcome there, rpg.net. I suppose I'll appeal this once I can actually get onto the regular forums in some way to get the email I need to appeal it (funny how that works) and see if they can reduce the ban to something that doesn't grate on me as terribly inconsistent.

Again, not so much because I can't live without talking about rpgs online for two weeks or because it's a violation of my rights.** Nope, just because I think any enforcement policies should be as consistent as they can be and the weird almost arbitrary nature of this grates on my sensibilities.

If not, then I don't think I'll be going back. Not a threat or anything, just not worth my time if when everyone else has to watch their step and behave I have to pay attention to what kind of shoes I'm wearing in addition.

* A nod of the hat to The Exorcist here.

** And in case anyone is wondering it's not, as a private site they can ban me since I like boxers instead of briefs if they want.

My thoughts on Eternals #1

2006-06-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

Some comic fans might not like Jack Kirby.

Are those folks evil?

No, just ignorant.

But enough about them, let's talk about Neil Gaiman and John Romita Jr.'s excursion into one of the most Kirby-centric aspects of the Marvel Universe, the Eternals.

Some quick history, and I do mean quick. The Eternals were a group of cosmic alien pseudo gods created by Jack Kirby. They have a fair amount in common with Kirby's New Gods: they're powerful, have advanced technology, fight misshapen monsters and tyrants, and have been around a really long time. Unlike the New Gods, the Eternals have influenced Earth history and even lived here for while, inspiring legends of ancient gods and heroes. So the speedster Makkari becomes, you guessed it, the basis for Mercury (and Osiris, go fig).

Yeah, I know, Marvel also has ancient gods and heroes running around. It's a long story which mostly makes sense, but I said this would be a quick history so in the words of the Bard in your fair minds let this acceptance take* and let's move on.

So fast forward to this Wednesday when American Gods & Anansi Boys novelist and comics veteran Neil Gaiman teams with one of my favorite artists ever to bring us a new version of the Eternals, who are apparently all on Earth and few if any of them remember who they truly are. All the while their enemies, the Deviants, are hunting them down and trying to use this opportunity to commit some nefarious act upon them that I'm unclear about because they haven't started with the committing by the end of the first issue.

I know what some of you are thinking. This all sounds really familiar, doesn't it? Like "this was basically the plot for the 7 Soldiers: Mister Miracle mini by Grant Morrison" familiar? And yeah, on some level it is. And that makes sense really. After all, New Gods are and Eternals of DC, and vice versa. So again, I say get on with the accepting and the taking and let's talk about this comic.

First the story. It's a set up issue mostly. And admittedly the plot's a bit standard: young man doesn't remember he's a chosen one and needs to rediscover his heritage. A crazy guy named Ike Harris** shows up to tell him about who he really is and he thinks the guy is crazy until...well, as of issue #1 he still thinks he's crazy. We also get a nice background on the Eternals for anyone who needed or wanted one as well as insight into what the other Eternals are doing right now. There was also a nice bit with a superhero reality TV show, a Eternal masking as a child celeb, and some Public Service Announcements that made for a unintrusive tie-in to Marvel's big Civil War event.

The whole thing didn't strike me as totally mindblowing and revolutionary like say, Morrison's 7 Soldiers. However, it's good solid storytelling with a mythic undertone that fits characters who are supposed to be immortal alien servants of primordial beings who were once wortshipped as gods. It's also a nice insight into how the Eternals would fit into our world if they were not immortal alien servants of primordial beings who were once wortshipped as gods. So the story's good and it's worth picking up if you have any love for the subject matter and aren't one of those "comics haven't been good since ________." morons.***

So the writng's solid and fun and will get me to check out issue #2. Now let me talk about the art.

Remember when I said John Romita Jr. was one of my favorite artists? Well, he is. Thus I'm biased. Still, that doesn't mean I necessarily like everything he does. After all, Frank Miller is one of my favorite comic writers and I wouldn't cross the street to get free-copies of All-Star Batman & Robin or Dark Knight Strikes Again. So it's entirely possible I wouldn't like the art in this issue, despite my admitted bias.

And I don't. I love it. Especially the scenese with the Eternals all decked out in full cosmic glory and fighting the Deviants. The colors, inks, pencils, etc... all combine to create something that invokes Kirby but isn't. Thus you get stuff like the sample images, which don't do the gorgeous art justice but should give you an idea of what it's like.

Strange though, that my only quibble with the issue is art related. The books ships with three variant covers. The most common on is, IMO, the least appropriate. It's a painted cover which looks great, but also looks nothing like the interior art nor anything Kirby did with these characters. I would have preferred something a bit more invocative. Still, its a minor complaint and as I've said there are two other covers, both more fitting.

So there it is. Check this book out if you love the Eternals or similar Kirby creations, want some more works like the recent Mister Miracle mini, or are a fan or either the writer or artist. I thought it was worth my 3 or so bucks.

*Henry V, Act 5, Scene 2. The more you know...

** Who's Ikkaris, leader of the Eternals before they went all Japanese CRPG protagonist.

*** Not to be confused with the "Classic version of a character means the version of the character I liked best or that I started reading" idiots. They are a different species. Same genus, though.

Some Comments on the Justice League Season II DVD Set

2006-06-21T04:43:00.000-07:00

So I picked up Justice League, Season 2 last night and am reminded how much I enjoy that show. The first season is very good, but it makes some mistakes in plotting and development. Namely the accidential wimpification of Superman. Apparently they kept having him get kicked around to show how nasty the bad guys were and didn't notice he was constantly getting kicked around. The result is a lot of Superman getting thrown through walls and beaten up. For an entire season. It's still fun and well done, but that particular bit seems a bit like a joke that's getting old (and based on Bruce Timm's comments on the Season 1 DVDs, totally accidental).

But enough about Season 1, let's talk about Season 2. Season 2 is where the show really hits its stride. These are big damn heroes doing big damn heroics. They beat up Darkseid, fight a talking gorilla and his Secret Society of Super Villains, and end the whole thing with saving the planet from aliens...again. This is where the big plotlines that set up a complete show revamp in season 3 really started. This is also where the guest stars begin to show up. Sure, the first season had the Green Lanterns and a faux JSA, but this one has Green Lanterns, New Gods, Dr. Fate, and so on. It even ends up with the big Thanagar invastion, which was perviously released as the Justice League movie Starcrossed.

For me I think the strength of this cartoon in any season is probably something that some folks will complain about. That is the show's multiple influences. This isn't retelling old stories from comics. Instead the show takes old stories from comics, combines them with other bits from comics, history, film, and the like and comes up with something both new and familiar. Personally I wish more TV would do this, as the stuff that does usually seems to hold my interest better and longer.*

Also, for folks planning on going to see Superman Returns like yours truly, this came with a free ticket. Thus the 30 bucks I paid for this is really more like around 20. So to say I got my money's worth is an understatement.

*House for example draws heavily from Sherlock Holmes and Supernatural combines Buffy/Angel with some actual folklore and myth.

I hope they all get sick and die and other nice things I'm thinking right now

2006-06-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

So my wife Mira's sick. She's got some godawful throat thing that I fear I'm starting to catch. Mira's a law librarian. An important job, but hardly something that will cause the cosmos to grind to a halt if she goes to the doctor and stays home.

Thing is, her boss is an utter bitch.

That's right, Holly, if by some miracle you are reading this...you are an utter bitch. As far as I can tell you're underqualified (she's the only librarian at the law library w/o a law degree despite being middle management) and have no idea what "unprofessional" means despite throwing that around like it's going out of style (apparently Mira's job as a teacher and law clerk don't count since her current position is her "first professional job"*) and embody everything that's wrong with management.

Now, I admit my wife isn't perfect. Even I myself had a few problems with her when we worked together briefly. But those few minor quibbles pale in comparison to the incredible mix of arrogance and incompetence that is her current boss. One would think getting a job largely because you were buds with the head of the library would make her a bit more humble and less likely to talk down to everyone else.

But why speak generally? I should be more specific about why this woman is an utter bitch.

Mira's sick and has been for about 4 days. So she wants to go to the doctor. Thing is, despite her having ample sick time, her boss has been getting on her about "excessive absences"** So my wife who I'm pretty damn sure is contagious and might even have strep or something has to go in to work before her appointment and go back to work after so she doesn't get in trouble. And for whatever reason, the head of the library let's this woman conduct things in this manner and it seems like no one else complains either.

So yeah...I hope they all get sick and die.

Sorry folks, just needed to vent. Been dealing with that crap all morning and I cannot express how frustrating it is to want nothing more than to walk into my wife's workplace and tell her boss how badly she makes the whole law library look with her crap and how as a licensed attorney in the state of IL I would tell anyone who asks that they should avoid that particular law library and perhaps the school as a whole like the plague until they cut her loose and get someone new. Perhaps someone who can keep the turnover rate below obscene and is actually at least as qualified as her subordinates. I'd also probably say that for an institution that pays in the bottom 10 percent for the area they sure expect a lot.

And yet, as it is not my workplace...I really can't. But damn I really want to. And I suppose my ranting about her would be unprofessional...if I worked for her. But I don't, so she can bite me.

* Which I guess would be a bit true in the case of teaching if you only count traditional professions of medicine, law, engineering, and military officers. But even then the law clerk job counts. So again, this woman is just wrong.

** and to be fair Mira has missed some days, but she hasn't missed as many as her boss claims. As in, she has caught her boss counting her absent or late on days when she isn't...like the time she was at a training seminar the her boss sent her to.

2006-06-20T00:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I suppose it had to happen sometime.

Well okay, actually it didn't. And it might not be even now. But I guess, technically, I now have a blog.

I had to create one of these things so I could post some comments to a friend's new blog. And so here it is in all its glory. I might do some reviews, essays, etc... if I get the chance but I've never been much for keeping anything resembling a journal.

Oh, I almost forgot. You can check out my friend Daniel's blog here. He's got a pretty interesting review of Brian Azarello's new comic, Loveless.

Later,
Jack